What She Doesn't Know
by poeticgrace
Summary: Just when Jason thought he had lost the thing he thought he wanted, he finds the thing he truly needed all along. Jarly deals with the aftermath of the baby Jake secret.
1. Chapter 1

"That would be the safest choice for Jake." They were only seven words, but for Jason Morgan, they held all the power and meaning in the world. Hiding in another room while the woman who supposedly loved him agreed to keep lying about their child, he knew that there was no coming back from that. He felt foolish that he had allowed himself to have false hope, to believe that he could actually have a family and a life with Elizabeth Spencer. After Emily's death, he had been able to pretend for a few days that he could be a parent to both Cameron and Jake, but her startling words had brought him tumbling back to reality. No matter how much he loved her or his son, his life would never be safe enough for her. He had made his choices long ago, and only now was he realizing what it would mean to have to deal with them.

Without even thinking, he immediately sprinted from her cozy cottage, silently vowing never to return. He knew that it would only take one trip against her threshold and he would be right back where he started from. Hot, salty tears stung at his eyes as he arrived at his motorcycle, the one thing that could guarantee his escape. He could see Lucky's police cruiser starting to pull away as she called out his name uselessly from inside the house. For a moment, he actually considered turning around and going to her. If she could only see that he would do his best to make sure that his life would never touch her, maybe she would finally accept her rightful place in his world.

Elizabeth had said so many times how she trusted him more than anything in the world, but looking back, he knew that wasn't exactly true. Her excuse now was her children, but even five years ago when they had tried to be together, she hadn't been able to accept him as he was. There had always been an inflection in her tone when she talked about his life, and he was sure that she blamed him for the mess that her life had become. Somewhere behind her doe eyes, he could her mind asking the question, "Why can't you get out for us?" He wished that the answer was simple, but nothing about the lifestyle he led was. Too deep in to ever be pulled out, leaving the organization was impossible now. Even given the chance, Jason wasn't sure that he would leave this world behind. He loved his children, but everything else in his life was wrapped up in his job. It had given him so much – direction after losing everything and a purpose when he wasn't sure how to go on.

More than that, something that Elizabeth could never understand, this world had given him his life. Most people wouldn't look at what he does as much of a life, but for him, it had always been more than enough. Working beside Sonny for all these years had given him a mentor, a best friend and a brother. No matter what happened, he knew that they would always have each other's backs. If he was to extricate himself from the organization, it would mean leaving the rest of his family behind. He loved his son, but he couldn't count on Liz always being there. The rest of them, Jason was sure that was a given.

Turning the key in the ignition, he shook his head to clear it of any thought and kickstarted the motorcycle. The familiar hum filled the still night air, instantly bringing comfort to his shaken nerves. He could sense her gazing out at him from behind the window but he couldn't bring himself to actually look up at her. Instead, he pressed forward and disappeared from her sight.

Port Charles was quiet tonight, the streets empty of any traffic. Cruising through downtown past Kelly's diner, he flirted with the idea of stopping in for a hot cup of coffee. However, a singular thought prevented him from going inside, a notion that would stop him from going to the Metrocourt, the coffeehouse or even Jake's. In a small town, the chances of running into someone he knew were simply too high for his mood. Whether it was someone from the police department with a bone to pick or someone wanting to stick their nose where it didn't belong, he didn't feel up to dealing with anyone right now. He just wanted to be alone.

Actually, as he found himself rounding a quiet bend in a palatial neighborhood near the edge of town, he realized that wasn't entirely true. Without even realizing it, he had navigated his way down a familiar toward her home. Pulling into the driveway behind the fleet of cars, he smiled to himself. Whenever either of them felt like the world was falling apart, they always came back to each other. For Jason, it always felt like coming home.

Lights in the living room poured through the windows and out onto the pristine lawn. He could hear her voice carrying through the open screen door as she sang along to one of her favorite songs. He knew that he should gather himself enough so that she couldn't tell that anything was wrong, but even if he did manage to look like he hadn't been crying, she would know. She'd always known. It was a blessing and a curse to have someone know you so well, and while at times he had hated it more than anything, tonight he was just grateful. He needed a place where he could be himself and fall apart, and her shoulder was the only place he felt safe to do that. She would never let him go through this on his own.

Just one little thing kept him from going through that front door and into her waiting arms. She still had no idea that Jake was even his son, let alone that he had fallen in love with one of the women she hated most in the world. Knowing her, she would want to lecture him about how she was right and then get angry at him for keeping this from her. He wasn't sure why he had lied to her for all these months exactly. Part of him knew that it was to keep her from doing anything rash to protect him. Another part of him also knew that he didn't want her to know. He knew that it would hurt her to know that he lied, but somehow, he'd always felt like it would hurt her more to know that he had a child with someone else. She would be disappointed without really knowing why, and that would only break both their hearts all over again.

Jason pinched the bridge of his nose as he turned his face toward the sky. Closing his icy blue eyes, he wished that he could talk to his sister right now. In her own quiet, unassuming way, Emily had always known exactly what to say. Even if they hadn't agreed on a lot of things, she had always been able to put aside her own opinions to help Jason figure out what was right for him. There would be a million times like this after that night, but in that moment, he couldn't imagine ever missing her more.

"What are you doing out there all by yourself?" Carly chirped cheerfully as she appeared on the porch. She could barely make him out in the dim light from the house, but she had known it was him by the sound of his motorcycle. "I heard you pull up a few minutes ago. When you never came in, I thought I better come out and find what's keeping you."

Reluctantly, Jason dragged his gaze from the sparkling heavens to meet her wide eyes. "I was just thinking about Emily," he told her before stepping into the light. As she got a better glimpse at him, he saw her look change drastically. She knew that something was wrong. "Sorry I came by so late. Maybe I should have called first."

Padding barefoot across the porch, she nearly ran across the expansive lawn to get to where he stood. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. Carly couldn't find the words to ask what was wrong. The deep, intense pain in his eyes scared her enough to shake her to the very core. She had only seen that look in Jason's eyes one time, the night he had found her with Sonny. Since then, she had prayed that she would never have to see that kind of overwhelming pain cross the baby blue eyes she knew as well as her own. There hadn't been any words to make it better back then, and she knew that whatever was haunting him couldn't be healed easily now. So, she slipped her small hand through his and silently led him inside.

Carly nodded at the guard as he held the door open for the pair of friends. Closing it firmly behind them, she never let go of his hand until they were seated next to each other on the couch. The house was quiet tonight with Jax and the boys all gone. Michael and Morgan were spending the night with Sonny for the first time since Emily had died, and Jacks was out of town in Hawaii to look at another hotel. She had initially agreed to go with him, but at the last minute, something had prevented her from going. He had been disappointed when she had refused to explain why she wouldn't come, but it was hard to explain a gut feeling in the pit of her stomach. He had tried to have another talk with her about trust, but Carly had been too tired to even pretend to listen to yet another lecture from him.

Turning to study her best friend, Carly was shocked to see unshed tears dwelling in his eyes. Without even thinking, she reached up to brush them away with her thumb. Jason's hands traveled up her bare arm and came to a rest on her wrist, holding her firmly in place. She could feel his body beginning to tremble as he leaned in closer to her. Slipping her arms around his back, she pulled him into an embrace and held him against her body. There were was only one person that was allowed to see Jason fall apart, and Carly had always been that one. As she shifted them on the couch so that he could rest more easily against her, he thanked God yet again for giving him this one person that he could always be himself with.

He knew that there were a million questions she wanted to ask him, but for now, she was quiet. There was great comfort to be found in the fact that she knew what he needed without having to ask. With the other women in his life – Courtney, Sam and Elizabeth – he had always felt the need to explain his every move and word. Carly had always loved him for who he was, no questions asked. Hell, in the beginning, she hadn't even needed to know his name. She was there for him then just like she was there for him now. Most of the time she was loud and demanding, but there were times where she could be silent and selfless. Those moments she kept only for him.

Carly rubbed small circles on his back, wishing that her fingers could have a heeling touch. She hated to see Jason cry almost more than anything in the world. It took her to the darkest place because she knew that there were few things that could turn him into this. If it had to do with the boys or Sonny, Jason would be calm and poised, knowing that he had to be strong for her. Still, whatever demons were crawling around inside his head, she knew that it wasn't good. Pulling back slightly so that she could look into his eyes, it pained her to see tears still rolling down his face. Pressing her forehead to his, she felt nothing but love for the man in her arms.

After a few minutes of sitting quietly like that, Jason finally began to compose himself enough to sit up. He kept his connection to Carly, afraid what would happen if he didn't feel her touch. Pulling her between his parted legs, he laid down enough to let her rest her head on his chest. The position was familiar and comfortable, and he knew that if Jax walked in the door right now, they wouldn't have to explain much. They were just being the way that they had always been, indescribably to anyone but each other. To be in their lives was to accept them because there was no changing Jason or Carly. If she needed him, he would be there. If he called in the middle of the night, she would always answer. Other than Michael and Morgan, no one else came first in her life, and other than the boys and now his son, no one came first for Jason.

She settled further against his body, snuggling into the warmth of his skin, as he easily wrapped his arms around her. Carly ached with questions, her mind imploring her to ask what was wrong. She could feel his heart racing beneath her, its rhythm rapidly drumming a melody onto her back. Finally, she gathered enough courage to ask the inevitable, afraid what would happen if she denied herself for too long. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Peering up at him over her shoulder, she wasn't surprised to see his silent nod. Biting her bottom lip to keep from asking another question, she nodded back in response and resumed their contented silence.

"You're not going to like it," he warned her, his voice stumbling over each syllable. She could hear the strain and hesitation in his tone. There was something that he needed to tell her but clearly didn't want to. Anyone else would try to push him into confessing, but Carly understood that he needed his space. Given time, he would tell her whatever it was that was weighing him down when he was ready. Any moment before that would simply be too soon. "I just want to sit like this for now."

Her continued silence indicated that she understood. As he closed his eyes and began to relax, he wasn't at all surprised to hear her hushed voice speak out again. "Jase, I'm here," she promised him softly. He squeezed her hand to show that he had heard her but failed to reopen his eyes. Her vow was simple but all consuming, easy but completely honest. Come hell or high water, she would stand by his side no matter what and nothing could ever take that away, not even this lie. He trusted her enough to tell her, which had never been the problem. The thing was, he had never trusted himself enough to have to break her heart.

Eventually, he was going to have to break her heart because that was the only way he could ever explain all of this to her. As much as he hated to hurt her, he didn't want to lie to her anymore. She had always been the one place he could go to when the world was too much, the one person he could tell anything to. He had told her that he loved her so many times, but even the times that he didn't, she just knew. Logic should dictate that this didn't have to be any different, but raw emotion assured him that it already was. "Carly, you know that I love you, right?" He was surprised at the question even as the words escaped past his lips.

"I do," came her muted reply. There was no hesitation or question on her part, she really did know. He had never let her doubt it in the ten years he had known her, even when he had tried to deny it to himself. He had saved her from herself when she wanted to destroy her life. He had been a father to her child when she was scared of losing him. He had been her best friend even when he had ripped his heart out. He had stood by her side even when it meant going against Sonny, the person who had given him so much. More than anything, he had yelled at her when she needed it, let her cry when she needed it, laughed with her when she needed it and allowed her to fight with him when she needed it. He let her be the woman that she needed to be because that was the woman he loved. "Just like you know that I love you."

Her confidence in him assured Jason that he could do this. He had to find the words and tell her the whole story, all of it. She was going to be angry and make accusations. She was going to cry and maybe even yell. She was going to feel hurt and betrayed and dismayed. She was not going to understand why he had did what he did, especially when he couldn't explain it to her. But after that was all over and she had time to calm down, Jason knew that she would forgive him. They would find their way through this together, just as they had so many other heartaches in the past. He knew this, he felt this, he believed this. Taking her hand in his, he took a deep breath. He felt safe with her like this in his arms. "Okay, here it goes."

_Author's Note: The title of this story was slightly inspired by an amazing song, "What You Don't Know" by Katie Reider. Hope y'all enjoy._


	2. Chapter 2

Carly listened to Jason's discontented sigh as she waited for him to go on. She could tell that the words were not coming easily to him now, not that they ever really had. He raked his strong fingers through his sandy blonde hair with frustrating. Reaching up, she fingered the soft tendrils absently, wondering why he had ever let it grow that long. She had always preferred his hair shorter because it brought out his eyes. Those sky blue orbs held hers easily now, begging silently for forgiveness. Carly had no idea what he had done wrong, but she knew that he only needed to ask and she would forgive him. There was nothing Jason could ever do to change the way she felt about him. She loved him almost more than anything for he was her best friend.

"I don't know how to do this," he confessed, his steady gaze still holding hers. "I keep trying to find the right words, but I know that there are none. So, I need you to do me a favor right now and just listen. I promise that I'll answer every question when I'm finished, but I need to get through this. I'm afraid that if I stop at any point to look into your eyes, I'll lose my resolve. You've always needed me to be brave for you, but I'm not very courageous right now."

Biting her bottom lip, Carly moved her hands from his hair to trace over his strong jaw. Nodding slowly, she caressed his check tenderly and hoped that it brought him even an ounce of comfort. "You have me, Jase," she promised. "You can tell me anything, you know that. Whatever this is, we'll figure it out together. I promise that I won't even try to come up with a plan if you'll just tell me what's wrong."

A soft, unexpected chuckle rumbled in Jason's throat. "Did you just promise me that you wouldn't come up with a plan?" he asked teasingly. Carly smiled in response as she folded their hands together in her lap. Taking a deep breath, he knew that it was too late to turn back. Carly wouldn't let him walk out of her house without saying what was wrong, and Jason wasn't sure that he wanted to. He had made a choice to hide this from her for so many months, and tonight, he was making a decision to keep it no longer. As much as he had thought he loved Elizabeth, he knew that he loved Carly more. Right now, he needed her more than anyone else in the world.

"Well, do you remember that night of the blackout when I found Sam with Ric? I was so angry that I ended up coming back to the penthouse and trying to drink through my pain," he reminded her. Of course Carly remembered, he realized, watching as familiar hurt flashed in her dark eyes. They had fought after she had learned that he had slept with Jason. Half feeling like he had betrayed her and half angry that she had pushed him on it at all, it had been a messy argument that ended with both of them saying things that they didn't mean. "When Elizabeth and I slept together that night, we used an Enduro condom. I learned later that it came from the same faulty batch that Dillon and Lulu used."

Carly turned away from him suddenly, feeling instantly sick at her stomach. Jason knew that he didn't have to go any further and that she was slowly beginning to fill in the gaps. At the same time, he needed to tell her everything because she needed to hear it from him. If he was honest with her, there was no denying his life to her anymore. Everything (well, almost everything) would be out in the open and they could figure this out together. "Elizabeth was still in love with Lucky at the time and determined to make her marriage work. When she had the paternity test done, Sonny found out and assumed that the baby wasn't mine. Wanting to protect her child from the life I lead, Elizabeth went ahead and lied to everyone. She kept the secret from months to unbeknownst to everyone, including me."

"Somehow, Lulu and Spinelli found out, but they didn't even tell me in the beginning," he continued. "In fact, Elizabeth didn't even know that they knew. She was set on keeping it from everyone until we got trapped in the elevator the night of the hostage situation at the hotel. We both thought that we were going to die, and she ended up telling me the whole thing. I had just lost Alan and didn't really know what else to do. Sam had also just found out that she couldn't get pregnant. Between the two, I was reeling and just agreed to whatever Elizabeth wanted."

"That bitch!" Carly exclaimed, her eyes wide with disbelief and anger. Jason reached for her hand and brushed his thumb over the place where her wedding ring sat. She peered down at their entangled fingers and moaned with frustration. "Okay, go on."

Jason searched her eyes for a moment to make sure that she was okay before moving on. "Shortly after that night, Elizabeth decided that she wanted to remarry Lucky. She convinced me that it would be the best thing for our child, and I couldn't really disagree. I was still in love and committed to Sam. I knew that there was no way I could guarantee that a baby would be safe when my fiancée had just been shot in my arms a few months before. So, over the next few months, we kept the secret between us."

"That's why you kept going by to check on her," Carly realized. Looking back, she couldn't believe that she hadn't seen the signs before. She had tried to tell herself on more than one occasion it was just Jason being Jason. He had always been a devoted friend, even to Princess Lizzie. Carly had convinced herself that he was just trying to make sure that she was alright. In hindsight, she could now see what was really going on.

He nodded knowingly. "I knew that there was no way I was going to be around my son once he was born, so I would take any connection that I could get. The night Jake was born, I was the first one to get to hold him. He was so amazing staring at me, and I think that he knew. Everyone always said that he had Laura's eyes, but every time I look at him, I know that he has mine. Elizabeth had tried to tell me that the love was indescribable and unlike anything I had ever felt before. I never told her that she was wrong. I felt it the first time I held Michael, our son."

Carly had missed many of those first moments with Jason and Michael, the first true family she had ever had. Still, she remembered most of the times over that next year when everything had been perfect. She still counted that year as the happiest of her life, this perfect time before everything went wrong. In a shoebox on the top shelf of his hall closet, Carly knew that he still remembered their life together as well. Those photographs that he showed to only her, they were their proof.

"Anyhow, I guess that night I held Jake, Sam must have overheard. As our relationship started to fall apart and she moved on to Lucky, she began to use it against me. Between knowing who had kidnapped Jake and setting up the fake threats at the park, there was no way I could forgive her. When we broke up, it devastated me beyond words. There was this woman who I had loved so completely for three years turning into a virtual stranger right before me. I didn't understand how I could have been so blind. You had tried to warn me so many times, but I had chosen to believe her. I should have never gone against your instincts."

She was glad that he knew she was right but didn't need to point that out to him. Instead, she tightened her grip on his fingers and urged him to tell her the rest of the story. Instinctively, she knew that there was more. While the story was devastating in and of itself, something else had a hold on him. She was angry at him for his lies, but right now, she had to put her emotions aside. They would definitely have to deal with that later, but there was so much hurt in his eyes.

"The day that Elizabeth and Lucky agreed to a divorce, I thought that I was going to finally get my chance to be Jake's father," he laughed humorlessly. "Of course, Liz came to me and told me that she wanted to continue to pretend that Lucky was the father. We probably would have gone our entire lives without telling him if we hadn't all been cooped up in that damn barn at Wyndamere. The night of the ball, the night that my baby sister died, I told Lucky that Jake was my son."

"That's why you were so angry," she deducted. "You screamed at me for putting myself at risk, but I knew that there was something more. There was no talking to you. You were on a mission, so stubborn and determined."

"I wanted to tell you then, but I knew that it wasn't the right time. You would only worry about me and scream at Elizabeth. The chance that it could hurt either one of you was just too big for me to risk," he retorted. "You had already been attacked, and I needed you to be on highest alert. We found Emily a few minutes later and everything kind of becomes jumbled then. It was all pretty much a haze until the day of the funeral. When you came to see me, that's the first moment of clarity I really have since finding my sister on the floor."

Carly had shown up the day of the funeral to check on Jason, needing to see with her own eyes that he was okay. Although she had never been a fan of Emily, she knew how much Jason loved and cared for her. Loving Jason had meant putting all that aside for many years. He was hurting immensely, suffering one of the biggest losses he could ever imagine. At the time, she had thought the only deaths that could hurt him more were the boys and possibly her own. It was one of the few times he had listened to her without arguing, going to the funeral because he knew that she was right. He had also told Carly that he loved her, and that was the one thing she really wanted to take away from this all.

After the funeral, I didn't know where to go. I just wanted someone who would understand the anguish that I was feeling. I needed to be with someone who loved Emily as much as I did. I thought about coming here first, but I didn't want Michael and Morgan to see me like that. They were dealing with grief of their own, and they didn't need to worry. Besides, the only thing that really made sense to me was my son. So, I went to Elizabeth's house to hold him."

"And of course," he smirked, "luck wasn't on my side. Audrey still had the boys and Elizabeth and I ended up talking. Later, without too many words, we ended up doing a lot more than talking. She understood me in that moment, we were connected. We not only shared a child, we shared in a loss. I thought that I had fallen in love with Elizabeth over the past several months, and for the first time in so long, she let herself love me back. I knew it was a long shot, but I thought that maybe things were starting to fall into place. God, I don't think I've ever been so wrong."

Tears were starting to well in his eyes again as he turned his face toward the dark window. Just when he didn't think he could go on, Carly mustered her patience and forced him to look at her. "What changed that, Jason?" she asked. He nodded defiantly, not wanting to tell her anymore. "Dammit, Jase, you tell me what changed. I have been patient and listened to every single word. There is so much I want to say to you right now, but I need to know what happened. All of it, you have to tell me. You need to do this for me. Go on."

It was a desperate plea at best, but it worked just as she knew that it would. There was nothing in the world that Jason wouldn't do for the blonde sitting next to him, the woman he had always called his best friend. "Lucky showed up the next morning. He was brazen, determined to keep on calling Jake his son. They fought, but Elizabeth gave in at the end. She said that it would be the best option for Jake, _our _child, without even asking me what I wanted. I fled the house without even giving her the chance to explain and came here."

With the story finally finished, Carly pushed herself from Jason and allowed the story to sink in. Crawling from the couch, she paced behind the short length of the living room as her brain began to comprehend. She counted backward, trying to figure out how many months he had kept the truth from her. It had been nearly ten months since that horrific night at the Metro Court, and yet, he still hadn't told her. They had spent numerous hours together, both alone and surrounded by people. Yet, he hadn't found a single moment to share this life-altering news that he had a child. Jason Morgan had a son – a son with another woman, a son with someone who wasn't hers.

"Carly?" Jason implored, twisting his body to watch her behind him. Her focus was set on the wall in front of her almost as if she wasn't aware that there was anyone else in the room. After a few silent moments, she stopped and looked toward the front door. Her head dropped to her chest as she covered her face. "Please, Carly, say something."

She turned slowly, crocodile tears dwelling in a pair of chocolate brown pools. He started to reach for her hand, but she recoiled at his touch. Her features were schooled in steady defiance, determined not to let her sadness or anger get the best of her. Finally, dragging her eyes away from the hardwood floor beneath her feet, she stared back at him, right past the surface and burning into his soul. "You fool."


	3. Chapter 3

"You fool." Carly's words stung Jason deeply, the pain searing through his body like nothing he had ever known. Despite the gunshots and even the painful rehabilitation after the car accident that had taken his former life, he couldn't remember a time when he had felt more hurt. He'd always known that her words could be biting, but this simple statement was set to kill. Her stoic poise did nothing to settle his nerves either. Jason had expected her to be angry and scream out accusations; he was prepared for that. He wasn't ready, however, for calm silence. He hadn't seen that one coming at all.

Marching across the room, Carly perched on the edge of the overstuffed armchair, not trusting herself enough to sit next to him right now. There were a million things racing through her mind all at once, leaving her brain to be nothing more than a jumbled mess. She tried to ignore the overwhelming pain tearing her heart in two. With anyone else, she would scream and make demands. If it was Jax or Sonny, she would know exactly how to react and what to do. She had never expected anything like this from Jason, leaving her completely unsure of herself in a way that only he could do. Whatever she had to say to him, she knew that she needed to be calm for now. Their relationship had always been different from any other relationship in her life, so the issue called for an entirely different method.

"Did Sonny know?" When he was silent, she took his response to mean that her instincts were right. "So, let me get this straight, Jason," she drawled evenly. "Elizabeth knew. Sam and Lucky knew. Spinelli and my baby cousin, Lulu, both knew. Sonny knew, and if what my heart is telling me is right, Emily knew. That's seven people that knew besides you. That means that you trusted seven people more than you trusted me. What the hell is wrong with you?"

There was no defending himself in this situation, Carly was right. He had thought he was being protective, both of his son and her heart. Now, he knew that maybe he was trying to protect himself more than anyone. He could never stand the thought of letting her down, and this was doing it in the worst way possible. Over the years, he had dreamed of having a child many times, but there was only ever one scenario that really seemed to work. The way that she stared blankly at him now, it only broke his heart. "It wasn't that I didn't trust you," he confessed finally. "Carly, I didn't trust myself."

She scoffed at the statement. "I don't understand how you could lie to me for months. I'm supposed to be your best friend, Jase, the place you go to when nothing else makes sense. I would have helped you figure this out. I know you hate my plans but I could have at least been there to hold your hand. You've been going through this all alone for so long. And don't even bother telling me that you had Elizabeth because we both know that she is as selfish as they come! She's always treated you as if your lifestyle wasn't good enough for her, but really, she is the one who was never good enough for you."

Even in her own anger, she was still defending him. That was Carly, _his _Carly. "I should have told you, but I didn't know what would happen if I did. There was so much going on with Alcazar and then Anthony Zacchara. I didn't want to put my child at risk, and I knew that Elizabeth wasn't strong enough. You're right, she never has been. We all know that it takes an exceptionally strong woman to endure this life, and so far, you've been the only one that ever could. You stayed the course, but I couldn't risk losing my child."

Putting aside the fact that he had lied to her, Carly needed to make Jason see that he could do this. It wasn't an ideal situation by any means, but plenty of children had been brought up in the mob world. If it was good enough for her sons and Kristina, Carly knew that it was more than enough for Jake. Jason was an amazing father, and Carly knew that better than anyone. She wasn't about to let some pathetic little nurse take another opportunity from him. "It's not too late, Jase," she urged him. "We can still figure this out. You don't have to go through this alone. You would do anything you had to do to protect your child. Lucky's a cop and that puts Jake at risk. Children are never completely safe, no matter whom there parents are. You don't have to walk away from your son."

Jason shook his head, knowing full well that it would only take a few minutes and Carly would have him convinced. He believed her when she said that they could do this together. He had never once doubted their power when they were united together. "I have watched what this life has done to you and the boys. So many times, I have regretted ever pulling you and Michael into my world. I don't want to have to live with those same regrets for my son. He has the chance at a normal childhood, one without gunfire and bodyguards."

"First of all, you did not pull me into any world," she informed him. "I walked willingly, knowingly into this life with you, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I loved you, Jase, I've loved you all this time. I can't imagine my life without you. A world without Jason and Carly, it just doesn't quite make sense. I was the one who showed up at your door in the pouring rain, asking you to be the father of my child. I didn't regret it then, and I haven't regretted it a minute since. In fact, that is the best damn decision I've ever made. Without that, I don't know where I would have been."

He loved how confident she seemed in that moment, sure that she had made the right choice a decade before. Guilt had eaten at him over the years, breaking his heart time each time this life had touched her or the children. Knowing that she didn't regret it despite everything that had happened gave him a little bit of peace. "Thank you for telling me that," he retorted quietly. "You know that it would have killed me to know that you would have ever wanted a life that didn't include me."

"Don't even think it!" she ordered him firmly, leaning forward in her chair to stress the point. "Now, to continue on my earlier argument because you know that I'm not about to let it drop, you can't walk away from your son. I know you better than anyone, and I know that this is going to break you apart. You want a happy childhood for Jake, and I can't think of a happier life than one with you as his father. I don't give a damn what Elizabeth wants anymore; her opinion isn't the only one that matters here. You have a right to be in his life if that's what you want."

Jason shook his head pathetically and stared emptily at the wall. His heart was pounding in his chest as he tried to decipher the various feelings consuming his taut body. In Carly's mind, he knew that she believed that it was really that simple. She believed in him enough to think that he could do this without fail. He had never seen that same resilient streak of his that she had always clung to. "I'm not sure what I want."

Carly covered her mouth and thought for a moment. Then, crawling off the chair, she knelt on the floor in front of him. Reaching up hesitantly, she cupped his chin and pulled his gaze down toward her. "I know what you want, and if you won't go after it, I will fight for you," she promised. "This is hard, Jason, I know it hurts like hell. We can't fix this if you keep lying to me. You know what you want, even if you're scared. I just need to hear you say the words."

Thinking about all the times she had shared a similar sentiment, Jason finally understood what she meant when she said she hated that he knew her so well. With anyone else, he could pretend that this was the best decision and order them to support him. However, with Carly, he knew that there was no sense in fighting it. She had always seen right through him. Other than lying to her about this, he'd never been able to keep much from her. In her usual way, she would stride right into the middle of his chaos and make her presence known. Even when he was yelling at her for one of her impractical plans, he never took that for granted. It was rare that you ever found someone who was willing to accept and love you so easily for yourself. "I don't want to give him up," he admitted, the tears rolling past his closed eyelids.

With all the lies and anger temporarily forgotten, Carly enveloped him in her arms. Jason pulled her effortlessly into his lap, basking in the warmth of her body against his. He buried his face into her shoulder, quickly soaking the soft cotton of her shirt while inhaling the scent that was distinctly Carly. He soon heard her own sobs meeting his, mixing together in a discontented wave of grief and sadness. "You won't," she swore. "We won't."

"We?" he asked anxiously. "Carly, I can't ask you to devote your life to my cause. You're married to Jax now, and that family should be your first priority. The last thing you need right now is to be dragged into the middle of my problem. Knowing that I have your support is enough. I can do this on my own."

"This is my family," she countered, looking him straight in the eye. "You and the boys are my family. You three come first, no matter what. If Jax doesn't understand then he'll just have to learn to live with it. I've stood by and watched while he fought for his family. It's time that he learns what I'm willing to do for my own. This is my first priority now, helping you. You focus on getting your son back and let me deal with him."

"No," he insisted. "You love Jax. The boys have already been through enough. It's not fair to any of you to put you in the middle."

Carly put her hand to his chest to stop him. "Jax left me, remember?" she reminded him. "You've never left. Not once in the entire time that I have known you have you ever left me when I needed you. It didn't matter what was going on with you. You would drop it and show up for me. You need me right now. The only way that I would ever leave you is if it had to do with the boys, and even then, I know that it's only because you would make me go. More than likely, I wouldn't have to leave because you would be right by my side. That's what family is, Jase. They show up for each other. No one has ever shown up for me like you."

He smiled at her genuinely for the first time in hours, happy that she still saw him. There were few people in the world who ever had, but she had always seen him more clearly than anyone. "I don't know how to do this. I won't even pretend that I do. But I trust you, and you seem to think that I can do this. _We_ can do this," he emphasized. "I don't like asking anyone for help, but I need you. I need you to help me do this, just like I've always needed you."

"I told you that you have me," she told him again. "No one loves me like you do, Jase, just like no one loves you like me. The boys and I will be there to help you do this. If you needed me to help you raise this child, you know that I would. I would leave Jax in an instant if you asked me to, and I think you've always known that. You promised that you would always be there to catch me if I fell, but in case you had forgotten, the street goes both ways. You would do anything for me, including give up your life. I would, too."

Brushing his thumb over the underside of her chin, he winked at her. "I would never ask you to give up your life for me, Carly," he whispered, drawing her closer to him again. Words were being thrown around now, dragging up feelings he hadn't allowed himself to feel for years. He knew that she was being honest and that it only took a singular, simple request. Carly had never belonged to anyone wholly before, refusing to give all of herself to anyone. However, with Jason, she had given her entire being to him so willingly – heart, body and soul. Ten years and eight marriages between them hadn't changed that. They both still remembered where they belonged.

"What if I wanted to?" she dared to ask. "Jase, we both know part of the reason you were so afraid to tell me. I can't lie to you. I hate the thought of any other woman having a part of you that I always thought I would someday have for myself. It's not fair that Elizabeth has a claim on your life, this irrefutable connection to you. You knew that it would break my heart that anyone could ever mean something to you that I couldn't. I hate that it's not me, but I don't blame you. As much as it hurts, this child is an amazing blessing."

"Carly…" he warned. He didn't want to do this, not now. Still, with the vulnerable way she looked at him, he knew that everything she had just said was right. She loved him. She always had and always would. They were their own kind of perfect. "I understand. I get it. I love Morgan with all that I am, but it was hard knowing that you had a child with another man, even if it was him. I never told you, so you couldn't have known." _There was so much that she didn't know_, he thought._ What she doesn't know, more than anything, is that I love her that same way still_.


	4. Chapter 4

The sterling silver clock on the mantle struck eight, indicating a much earlier hour than Jason's body seemed to feel. Carly had excused herself to the other room to answer the phone but had slowly drifted back into the living room. Standing with her back toward him so that she could stare out the window, he noticed the ease in her disposition. She rarely looked so casual when she was conversing with anyone other than her children. Knowing her for so long had helped him memorize the different inflections in her tone and movements. More often that not, he could predict her mood by how she carried herself. Entangled in so many lives, Carly carried the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Okay, well, you have a good night with your dad, and I will see you in the morning" she said brightly, letting him know that Morgan was likely on the other end of the line. He could see the playful smile on her pert mouth as she turned to face him. Her eyes twinkled as she listened to the response. "And I love you."

Jason was surprised to find her gaze intently fixed on him as she uttered the last four words before ending the call. Tossing the cell phone onto the empty armchair, she collapsed onto the couch next to him. "How are the boys doing?" he asked automatically. Few people understood the arrangement that had long existed between Jason, Carly and Sonny. However, the family that they had chosen to become had always worked for them. While Sonny was still a father to the boys, Jason was the one that they always ran to when things got too hard. He had a special connection with both children, particularly Michael. Carly had always counted him as their third parent, knowing that he was like a father to them as much as Sonny.

"Fine," she assured him. "I swear, it's like Michael's subconscious knew that you were here. The first thing he asked about was you. He told me that you promised to take them to the arcade to play video games."

He laughed heartily, imaging the financial impact the afternoon excursion would have on his wallet. "I've played enough with them here to actually become halfway decent at a couple of the games. Michael likes to play with me because he knows that he can win. Morgan wants to do anything his big brother does. I'm just happy to spend time with both of them. With everything that has been going on lately, it's nice to have one thing in my life that I know that I can count on."

"One thing?" Carly inquired with a raised eyebrow. Satisfied when Jason shifted uncomfortably next to her, she let the question stand on its own and reverted back to his earlier statement about her oldest son. "I don't think your lack of playing skill has anything to do with why Michael likes hanging out with you. He just wants to spend time with you, Jase. You are the person he looks up to most in this world. People might think he's the miniature version of Sonny, but every time I look at him, I swear he is acting more and more like you. And Morgan, he swears that the world revolves around you. You should see the way his little face lights up when you walk in a room."

"Thank you for that," he smiled, grateful that the woman always knew just what to say to make him feel better. "Carly, there's something I need to ask you. You've taken this all pretty much in stride, but I know you too well not to wonder. Why aren't you angry with me?"

Surprised at the question, Carly raked her fingernails through her long blonde ringlets anxiously. "I'm not really that angry," she confided. "It's more like hurt and dismayed. I don't understand a lot of things in this situation, especially why you would want to hide it from me for so long. It kills me that my best friend trusted other people more than me, even if it's not really true. To me, it's one of those things that it doesn't really matter what the intent was, it only matters how it feels. I just wish that you had let me in. If it was me in this predicament, you would be the first person I would want to tell."

"That's the thing," he countered. "You were the first person I wanted to tell. After Elizabeth and I escaped from the elevator, the world just started moving so fast. Sam was a mess, and I was so concerned with making sure that you and Sonny were safe that I didn't really let it sink in. By the time I was able to process everything, I was so afraid of telling you. I knew what this news could do to you. I've already broken your heart so many times, Carly. You were just about to marry Jax and finally had a chance to really be happy. I couldn't risk taking that away from you."

"Come on, Jase," she called him out sarcastically. "It wasn't about my happiness. Okay, I can buy not wanting to break my heart, but you never wanted me to marry Jax. I think you were more afraid of what would have happened if you had told me. You know that you could have come to me with this, and it might have changed things. Maybe it would have made us deal with the things of which we do not speak. Either way, I just feel like maybe that was a choice we could have, _should_ have, made together. Instead, you decided for me how I would deal with it. That's not fair."

Taking a long sip of the bottled beer Carly had brought him earlier, Jason let the cool brew slide down his throat. Beer and pool had been a long tradition in their friendship, present since the beginning of it all. Had it not been for a few too many drinks and a bet over a game of billiards, he was well aware that his life would be different. Setting it back on the mahogany coffee table, he leaned back against the sofa and regarded her gingerly. "Earlier, you said that I would have been the first person you wanted to tell, which is probably true. However, I don't think that I would be the first person you would tell. I think you'd be just as scared as I was. You would wonder how I would react, if I would yell or be disappointed with you. You never care what anyone thinks about you, but I know that my opinion matters, Carly. That's the way it is with us. Your opinion matters to me."

The words rang true. Carly had never cared what anyone thought about her, from the incessant musings of Port Charles busybodies to the inquiring minds of her own family. Yet, the way he saw her had always mattered. Even at her very worst, he had always managed to see someone worth loving. She knew that he felt that way about her, too. "You're probably right," she conceded. "It doesn't make it hurt any less."

"I know," he commiserated, wrapping his toned arm around her slender torso. Carly had once told him that the best things in life were worth fighting for and that nothing worth having was ever easy. Their relationship was defined by those two statements. They were constantly saving each other, both literally and metaphorically. They had survived some pretty intense drama together – the hotel fire, the hostage crisis, the night of the ball, the train crash, the epidemic, the mental breakdowns and the countless mob wars. Many people had come in and out of their lives, both willingly and forcibly. Still, in the end, they were still together. "I need you to forgive me."

Tucking her head beneath his chin, Carly grabbed his hand and held it over his heart. He was warm and smelled faintly of soap and gasoline. "When I first met you, you were this unaffected guy who didn't need anyone. You lived by your own rules, the rest of the world be damned. The only people you really seemed to care about at all were Sonny, Lila and Emily. I was so self-destructive that I didn't really care about myself. If we had never spent that night together at Jake's, I hate to think what my life would have turned out to be. You came along and began to care about me. Your friendship, your love, that's what taught me that I was worth loving."

It seemed to be a night of confessions for the two, something that always left Jason at unease. These were things that he had long felt and thought, but he had never found the courage to voice them. People thought that he was this brave killer, but real emotions scared him. It was different with Carly, but that didn't mean it was easy. Awkward at best, he still never doubted even once that it wasn't worth it in the end. "So, what does that mean?"

"I forgive you." Her willing concession was met with an unexpected hug from the usually stoic man. He was not affectionate by any means, not even with the boys or Carly. Every once in awhile, though, he would catch her completely off guard and grab her in an embrace. She still remembered hugging him at Pentonville when she had pretended to be his wife. Carly knew that he wanted to be angry at her from coming but something in his heart wouldn't let him. Between the police station and prison, she had been the one person to show up for him. Elizabeth and Spinelli had snuck in the occasional visits when they could find the time, but she was there every day like clockwork. Her dedication was just as stringent as when he was in the hospital and they feared that he was dying.

"You know what I was just thinking about?" she asked him, not really waiting for his reply. "I can count the times I should have died on both hands, but my own death never really scared me. Other than when the boys were kidnapped, the one time I remember truly being terrified for my own existence is when it wasn't even about me. When you were in the hospital, before the brain surgery, I kept thinking what I would do if I didn't have you by my side. I know it's incredibly selfish, but I knew I couldn't make it without you. I pretend to be all strong, but I'm only that way because I know that I have you to make me count to ten and save me."

Brushing a stray hair from her wet eyes, he fingered the end absently. "You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, and I know that you would have made it without me. I wouldn't want you to have to, but you would find a way for your children. I told you that day to be the mother that Michael and Morgan needed, and you would have never let me down on that."

She nodded, trying to stifle the tears at the painful memory. She could still hear every word of that conversation; it was forever cemented on her brain. "You wanted to give up," she reminded him. "Of course, I had to fight with you. You had never given up on me, so I wasn't about to let you start. We started talking about that night at Jake's, and you told me that I was just bored."

"I was only teasing," he promised her. "What I remember is that you called me the hottest guy you had ever seen. You said that you knew that you had to have me or die trying."

"Some things never change," she giggled. For just a moment, Jason wondered if she meant that she would still die trying to have him. He knew that day at the hospital that she had also admitted that she had let him be her boy on the side because she never thought she'd feel anything for him. She'd admitted that she had never been so wrong. Those were the words that made him want to breathe. "You're still the hottest guy I've ever seen."

Mussing her hair playfully, he chuckled as she ducked out of his reach. Moaning at him for tangling her blonde locks, she finger combed her tresses back into place. He was rarely ever playful with anyone except the boys but something about tonight had made him different. This was the most like Jason she had seen him in months. It was like he was finally comfortable in his own skin again. For so long, he had built a wall around himself, almost impenetrable in months following the breakup with Sam. Now, Carly understood that the façade was about his son. Telling her the truth had almost set something free. "I should probably get going."

"No, stay," she whined. "You don't want to go home to an empty house anymore than I want to stay here by myself. Jax isn't going to be back for God knows how long. Stay here tonight. We can stay up late like we used to, just drinking beer and talking. We haven't had one of our nights in so long. There's even a pool table downstairs waiting to be christened. It has your name all over it."

He knew that he could try to argue with her, but what was the point when all he would want to do was concede? "Fine," he relented with faux exasperation. "I don't feel like playing pool yet. I'm not sure you are going to believe this, but I'd kind of just like to sit here like this with you. It's nice to just be."

With that, Carly moved back into his arms and laid her head against his chest. Pulling the chenille throw from the back of the couch, she spread it over her lap and watched the flames dance in the fireplace. Unspoken words hung in the air as both of them became wrapped up in their own memories of the past, confusions of the present and questions of the future. Something had changed that night, even if neither of them could quite define it. It was as if something buried deep in yesteryear had finally clicked, making something so wrong so incredibly right again. They had both waited for a long time, wondering if these feelings would ever come around again. To be truly honest and admit that they had never left would be too much for either of them.

"I lied before," Carly whispered, her breath caught in her throat.

Jason peered down at her with hooded eyes. He had never been able to imagine things, but he still couldn't believe that this was happening. "What?"

"All that stuff about Jake, that's not the reason I'd leave Jax," she answered.

"Then…" he drawled hoarsely. "What is the reason?"

It was now or never, and neither Jason nor Carly would ever be this wide open again. If she was going to risk it all, now was the time. She moved her face up toward his until their lips were just inches apart. Just as she was about to close the short distance between them, her stunted answer came at barely a whisper. "You."


	5. Chapter 5

Jason could feel Carly coming toward him as his ice blue eyes slipped shut. Carly's whispered answer tickled his cheek as she confessed something he had waited so many years to hear. He had thought that her proclamation would finally bring him some kind of vengeance, some kind of relief. At the last minute, something in his head forced him to turn away. More than anything, he wanted to give into the temptation of kissing her. He could still remember how her bottom lip tasted. He knew the heaven that was her bare skin beneath his. He knew everything could happen, but it still surprised him in every way. It was all too much, too soon, and had the potential to ruin everything.

Turning his head, Jason physically had to put space between himself and Carly to keep his mouth from crashing back to hers. Her wide eyes flew open to meet his, overwhelming him instantly with her guilt and his own regret. "I'm sorry," she whispered hoarsely. Covering her face with her hands, she felt embarrassed that she had once again acted without thinking. If it was anyone else, she would get angry at the rejection and kick him out of her house. She hated to feel weak or shame about anyone, especially when it left her vulnerable. "Maybe you should go."

"No." She was taken aback by his strong answer, how confident and sure of himself he seemed. The strength of his words killed her, knowing that he could see right through the wall she had put around herself. "You're scared right now, but you're not going to push me away. I know you, Carly. I can hear the thoughts crawling inside your brain. You just promised to help me get through the hardest thing that has ever happened to me. We're both feeling something right now, but we have to put it aside. I need you too much to risk losing anything."

Somewhere in her mind, she knew that Jason was right. It didn't mean that she was any less scared about what was going on in front of her. Carly had fought many battles in her life, but few had meant more to her than the one going on inside her heart. She could be selfish and force him into the conversation, or she could do this for him. He was standing before her, asking for her help. That wasn't easy for him; she knew that better than anyone. "Enough," she murmured, as much to herself as to him. Shaking her head slowly but resolutely, she let go of her own needs. This wasn't about her. This was about him. This was about his child. "We need to focus on Jake. There are a lot of things we need to do to get you ready. You can't raise a child in that penthouse. You'll have to redo the nursery upstairs and buy all new things. I'll help you look for a nanny to help out while you have him if you like. If not, I can be around when you have Jake. I'm sure that the boys would love to help."

He listened to her endless ramble as she finally ran out of steam. She was doing whatever she could to convince herself that this didn't hurt like hell. "It's okay, Carly," he whispered, trying to draw her back into his arms. She recoiled slightly at first before allowing him to envelope her into his comforting embrace. Jason was rarely affectionate with anyone, but he had always given himself to her so freely. In fact, Carly could have any part of Jason that she wanted except the truest part of his heart. "You don't have to pretend that you're okay. We don't have to make any choices tonight."

"Jase, don't do that with me. With anyone else, you can patronize and coddle, but I know what you're trying to do," she implored. "I don't have a plan. I can't even seem to muster the energy to come up with a good scheme. I just want to try to figure this thing out with your son so that I can feel useful. If I can pretend that my heart wasn't just ripped out, maybe I can actually believe that everything is normal."

As he watched her nervously cross and uncross her ankles, Jason knew that he had to choose his words carefully. The last thing he wanted to do was cause her any pain, even though he understood that this wasn't his fault. It wasn't hers either. They were victims of circumstance, just as they had long been. Carly was always running back to Sonny or running into the arms of another man to escape her ex-husband. Jason was forever put in the middle, the one person could seem to mediate the whole tumultuous affair. He had always put his needs behind those of others, even when it came to his own relationships with other women. This time wasn't any different; for the sake of Jake, he needed to focus only on his son. He would figure things out with Carly later.

"Okay," he relented quietly. "I'll let you hire a designer to make over the nursery at the penthouse. I've never done anything with it after Sam's daughter died, so it's probably about time. Spinelli took Brenda's old room. I guess I could stand to redo it, too. It's still pink, regrettably so, he always says."

Spinelli was quite a character, but Carly was glad that Jason had allowed the oddball into his life. Last summer when he had chased the college student to Tennessee with Lulu, no one had expected Jason to even be able to stand him. Now, he had taken Spinelli under his wing and come to see him almost as a brother. The exasperated look Jason gave the young man told Carly everything she needed to know. He was only that way with the people he cared about, and she should be the expert. "I'll talk to Spinelli and see what he would like to do. I can work on a serene room for Jake, full of light blues and greens. I think I still have some of Morgan's stuff up in the attic, so you can just use that. Not that money is any object, it's just that it would be nice to keep that stuff in the family."

"Whatever you think is best," Jason said agreeably. He honestly didn't care what happened to the room, only that it gave Carly something to feel useful about. "I need to ask you a favor. I would like to take my son by the Quartermaines. Monica has been through a lot, so it might help her to be around her grandchild. I was wondering if you would go with me. You've always been able to handle the family."

"Whatever you need, Jase," she avowed. "I'm sure that your mother would like to visit with the boys. She's always treated Morgan as an equal to Michael. It's been a hard year for Monica."

Jason nodded knowingly, thinking about how she had lost her husband and daughter in the same year. He had lost his father and baby sister. It was about time that they found something again, and maybe Jake could be the tie that bound them together. For so long, he had pushed her away. He couldn't miss a family he didn't remember having. While he was happy that he had the family he had been able to choose, he was learning that it was still important to honor the one he had been given. It was too late for Alan, A.J. and Emily, but Monica and Edward were still alive. He could even try to find a way to be civil to Tracey if need be. His son had a right to know where he came from, and Monica had the right to know his family.

"I have to go talk to Elizabeth in the morning," he realized. "I don't know what I'm going to say. I didn't even wait for her to explain anything after I heard what she said to Lucky. I'm still so angry. I feel betrayed."

"They're just feelings. They'll heal," Carly promised as she patted his forearm affectionately. "I know that sounds crass, but I don't mean it that way. Elizabeth wasn't the woman you needed her to be, just like she probably thinks that you can't be the man she needs you to be. Jason, your life isn't an easy one to accept, but the women who have truly loved you have always found a way. I would never stick up for Sam, but she never once ran in fear. She was devoted to you, gunshots and all. She understood what it meant to love you and be in your life. Elizabeth knew the risks before she fell in love with you. She has no one to blame but herself."

"I used to think that I'd have to get out of the organization some time," he confessed. "I've already lost three women to the life I choose to lead. Robin hated that I worked for Sonny almost as much as she hated the fact that I lied for you. She always made me feel like I wasn't good enough, but I'm starting to realize that I just wasn't right. And as much as I loved Courtney, she wasn't right for me. She tried, really tried, to do this, but it took its toll on us. Elizabeth, though, she's the one I don't get. After I lied about Sonny's death four years ago, she told me that she wouldn't be apart of this life. But that night, she is the one who came to me. She is the one who came to me over and over again."

Carly understood and told Jason as much. "Jax knew that you and Sonny were in my life when we first got together, a fact that wasn't going to change even in marriage. Still, I know that there are more times than I'd like when he gets angry at me for running to you when things are falling apart. He hates that Sonny still has a say in my life. He doesn't understand that you can't just walk away from the people that you love, even though I'd think he would with the mess that is Jerry."

"Knowing that, why do you stay?" Jason asked, struggling to understand.

"Because I don't want to fail again," she mused sadly. "Jax loves the boys and me so much. He is a good, generous man that would give me the world if I asked. When I look at our life together, I know that this is exactly what I should want. This should be all that I need. It's just sometimes I look at my life and think how bored I've become. He doesn't challenge me. People like us, Jase, we need that challenge. We need an adrenaline rush."

The adrenaline rush she spoke of had nothing to do with pointing a gun or pulling off some great heist. It came only from that feeling of being alive. Carly felt alive when she was coming up with a plan or fighting with Jason or chasing the boys in the backyard. He knew those things about her because he knew her. Jason felt alive when the wind was whipping through his hair on the motorcycle or he was gazing over a perfectly still body of water or when he made Carly laugh. Those were the things that she knew about him. They lived for those moments. Right now was one of those moments.

"You should have never married him," he stated suddenly. "I thought it at the time, and I've thought it the entire time you've been together. There are probably a million times when it's crossed my mind and far fewer times when the words almost crossed my lips. I know that it would have only taken once, and you would have come back to me. You would have done that because you were mine; you have always belonged to me. I've known these things all along, but I was afraid to know them. I was scared to admit them to myself because then it would remind me what you meant to me. Loving you has always been the biggest fear in my life. You, and only you, have the power to destroy me."

Stunned, Carly wasn't sure if she was imagining this or if it was all a dream. The stirring confession was the single longest monologue she had ever heard from Jason. She didn't know what to say to that. "But you said…"

"Screw what I said," he growled, winding his open palm around her neck. He knew that his actions were reckless and that this had the potential to ruin anything. Jason had meant what he had said when she had the power to destroy him, but not having her was only leaving him empty. Her honey blonde locks framed her face as he drew her near to him, her cheek resting against the side of his face. Carly turned only slightly to brush her lips over his soft skin, just a ghost whisper of a touch. Jason swiveled his head just enough to meet her and finally satisfy them both with a much-needed reprieve. When they finally kissed, he felt her sigh against his lips. It only lasted a moment, but he knew that he would remember it for eternity.

When Jason pulled back, Carly stayed frozen in place. Tracing her swollen lips with the pad of his thumb, he tugged the corners of her mouth up into a smile. "I don't know what this means, and I am not going to make you any promises," he murmured to her. "We have a million things to figure out, and you are still married. Sonny, the boys, Elizabeth, Jax, Jake…there are countless reasons why this shouldn't work."

"But it does," Carly retorted confidently. "We've always worked. In our own strange and inexplicable way, we make perfect sense. All of those things you just said, they're perfectly valid concerns. I know that they should matter to me, but they don't. The only thing that I care about right now is you and me. We're our own kind of perfect."

He wanted to kiss her but he knew that it wouldn't be right. Instead, he turned her around in his arms and lay back on the couch, content to finally sleep. It had been a long day, one that he had truly thought he'd want to forget. However, as her breathing became shallower and his eyes came heavy, he was struggling to memorize every detail. The curve of her hip against his thigh, the branch tapping on the window, ghost of a kiss now gone by. It was indeed its own kind of perfect.

_Author's Note:_ _This chapter was inspired by the amazing Kacy Crowley song, "Kind of Perfect." If you haven't heard it before, listen to it immediately. I would also like to dedicate this chapter to a reader of mine, Ophelia (aka Naley23Addict). She recently lost her battle with an eating disorder, leaving the world a much darker place. May God be with you, O (1986-2007)._


	6. Chapter 6

When Jason awoke the next morning, he wasn't surprised to find his arms empty of Carly. As he sat up on the couch, he looked immediately to where he knew she would be standing. She was poised at the window, her palms outstretched on the painted sill as she stared out onto the morning rain. There were times when Carly could be loud and demanding, but her quiet moments scared Jason more. For a man that was supposed to be so cold and uncaring, his worst fear in the world was seeing a certain blonde in pain. Nothing had ever gotten to him like her tears.

Even with her back to him and her head tucked to her chest, Jason knew that this was one of those moments. There were no words that could chase away the darkness that dwelled in Carly's mind. The only thing he could do was to be there for her like he had been so many times over the past ten years. When she got this, the best thing he knew to do was to let her talk it out. With patience and understanding, he could help her through this. His own insecurities and fears could wait; last night had been about him. This morning was about Carly, and now, she needed him to show up for her. Tossing the blanket to the floor, he slid off the couch and slipped behind her. With his arms securely wrapped around her waist, he let her know that she was there.

"I have to get a divorce," she murmured as much to herself as to Jason. He nodded silently behind her, brushing his chin against her shoulder. "It's going to be hard, you know? Disentangling my life from Jax isn't going to be easy. Besides the hotels that we own, there are the boys to think about. Michael and Morgan love him. We were going to build a family together."

Jason could hear the unspoken words that rested at the tip of Carly's tongue. Without saying it, she was telling him that she was walking away from something she thought she should want for something she knew that she did want. She was telling him that this was their last chance and that if he walked away, it would destroy her. She was giving him his family back, and the only thing he had to do was take it. "I'll call Diane and see how quickly she can get started. Just let me know what you want and she'll take care of it."

Carly knew that she should want something from this life, from her sixth marriage, but she didn't. Jax had genuinely tried to love her, but he wasn't enough. With Jason Morgan in her life, he could never be enough. That wasn't his fault. It wasn't anyone's fault really. She didn't need anything from this marriage because she was about to have everything she'd waited her entire life to have. "Jax can have the Metro Court and anything else we co-own. The only thing I want is this house," she told him. "The rest of it doesn't matter. As long as I have you and the boys, I don't need anything else."

Pressing a soft kiss to the top of her blonde head, Jason felt relieved that she wasn't in the dark place he had originally thought. Instead, her quietness was about confidence in knowing that she was making the right decision. "When we will tell the boys?"

"Don't worry," she reassured him, turning around in his arms. "Michael and Morgan love you like a father. They're both going to be thrilled that you're going to be around. I'm sure it's going to be confusing for them. Hell, forget them, it's confusing to me. I know that you'll find a way to make it okay for them, though. No matter what, you've always put our boys first. I don't think they're the ones we need to worry about."

_Our boys._ The words were not lost on him. "Sonny isn't going to like it," he confirmed. "I let him have my family once, but I won't let him take it away from me now. He can say whatever he wants to, get as angry and make as many threats as he deems necessary. I'm not just going to walk away this time."

"Elizabeth isn't going to be the epitome of glee either, Jase," Carly pointed out. "She's going to do everything she can to try to hold onto you. And if she can't, she is going to use Jake to hurt you. I'm sure that she loves her son, but she has treated him like a pawn in an odd emotional tug of war between you and my cousin. She couldn't make Lucky be what she wanted him to be, so she's going to try it on you."

Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, Jason smiled at her and shook his head. "Now, when have I ever done anything that I didn't want to do?" he asked. "Elizabeth can try to play any game she wants, but I heard what she said last night. She wants to pretend that my son belongs to someone else. She is trying to make Lucky and I both act like we're something that we're not. That's not fair to either of us and it's not fair to my son. I won't take Jake away from his mother, but like I said earlier, I won't walk away either."

"We're going to have a battle on our hands," she agreed, pressing her cheek against Jason's chest. "I trust you, Jase. I want you to know that. I have complete faith that you and I are going to figure out what is right for our family and find a way to make it work. There isn't a lot that you can be certain about in this lifetime, but I've always known that it was going to be you and me in the end. When you go to talk to Elizabeth, I just want you to remember that. No matter what she says, you are going to be Jake's father."

"Carly, about last night, I meant what I said," he promised her. "I don't know how this is going to work, but I love you too much to run away from it. Jake isn't going to be just apart of my life, he is going to be apart of our lives. I want you to help me raise him. I want him to be a brother to Michael and Morgan. I want us to be a family."

"Even if we're not together, we already are a family," she retorted affectionately. "If this doesn't work out, you need to know that I will never leave you. You told me last night that you weren't going to make any promises, and I love that about you. I know that when you give me your word, you will deliver. You don't believe in giving false hope."

"We've talked more in the last twelve hours than in the twelve months before that," Jason chuckled, squeezing her tightly to him. "I've missed this."

Standing on her tip toes, Carly looked into his eyes. "I know that this is hard on you, Jase, but it's safe for you to open up to me. I'm not going to judge you. I might fight with you and try to give you advice, but you already know that about me. I even secretly think that's one of the things you love most about me. You know that's my way of trying to help and showing that I care. Even if you think my plans are crazy, I can come up with some pretty good schemes when it comes to saving us."

Jason suddenly saw an image of a very drunk Carly flailing her arms in the night air during a speedboat ride. "Life's never boring with you," he acknowledged with a wry grin. She was still at eye-level when he picked her up by the waist. Her toes grazed the floor as he danced her backward until her back was flat against the wall. The moment was uncharacteristically spontaneous and intimate for Jason, but Carly fully intended to take advantage of it. Pinning her against the living room wall, he hoisted her body so that her legs wrapped around his torso. Leaning forward hungrily, he nipped playfully at her bottom lip. Carly allowed him to tease her a couple times before taking control. Tangling her fingers in his locks, she lunged for his mouth greedily.

A groan vibrated at the back of Jason's throat as Carly pressed herself fully against his body. Her fingers danced along the back of his neck, playing with the soft hairs that resided at the nape. "Why, Mr. Morgan, I'm a married woman!" she teased when he pulled back to look at her. Her words were quickly stifled when he dipped in to devour her once again with his kiss. It lasted a few minutes, leaving them both spent. Carly felt Jason's knees starting to give out from the unexpected heat of the moment. He slid them both along the wall until they sat on the floor. Still interlocked in an embrace, she placed a soft kiss on each of his eyelids.

"It doesn't matter what some piece of paper says, Carly, you've always been mine," he whispered. "We can be on a plane this afternoon to the Dominican Republic to get your divorce. I can pay off a judge here to make sure it goes right through. Whatever it takes, that's how we've always lived."

"You've survived Tony, A.J., Sonny and Lorenzo. I've survived Robin, Courtney, Sam and Elizabeth. We're survivors. No matter what we've tried to throw at it, our love has endured. If you need me to be on that plane, I'll be on it. If you can be patient, then we can do it here. Whatever it takes, we're going to do it."

"We're going to do it," he repeated with a firm nod. "And whatever that is, I don't want to wait. I want to go talk to Elizabeth now, to try to figure all this out. You can go pick up the boys, and we'll tell them this afternoon together. I'll deal with telling Sonny, and you can take Jax. Let's do it all now, I don't want to wait. We've wasted too much time already."

Sliding Jason's cell phone from his shirt pocket, she dialed Sonny's number from memory. "Sonny, I'll be by to pick up the boys in about an hour," she told him without even waiting for an argument. "I'm going to take them by Bobbie's this afternoon for awhile. Jason and I need to talk to you. We should be at your house around three. Make sure to clear your calendar." Jason was stunned when she flipped the phone closed and handed it back to him. "Look, we are in this together, which means that we are telling Sonny together. We can define what _this_ is later."

There was no point in arguing with Carly, and truth be told, he was glad that they were going to do it together. Presenting a united front to Sonny would show him just how serious they both were. Rather than retorting, he followed her lead and called Elizabeth. Her voice was meager when she finally answered. "Jason, I was worried about you last night. You just disappeared."

He couldn't believe the audacity of her feigned innocence. How had he not seen it before then? Carly had long said that she was playing the damsel in distress act just to play on his emotions. Only now could see just how right she had been. "You weren't worried about me when you told Lucky that he should keep being Jake's father," he reminded her. When she didn't reply, he pressed on. "I am not going to let some other man claim my son as his own. Jake is a Morgan, not a Spencer, and I will raise him as such."

"You can't take my son away," she pleaded weakly. "Be reasonable."

"I'm not going to take Jake away from you, but I'm not going to let you take him away from me either," he let her know. "I told you once that I respected your decision because you are his mother. Well, I think it's time that you respect my choice as his father. I'm coming by in an hour to see Jake. We can discuss how we're going to deal with this then. And just so you know, I wouldn't recommend making any threats. I won't let anyone, not even you, take him away from me. He is my son."


	7. Chapter 7

After a long, drawn out goodbye in the doorway, Carly had finally sent Jason on his way to see Elizabeth. It had been difficult as she knew that it was possible that he could never return to her in the same state. It had happened to her once, and ten years later, she wasn't naïve enough to believe that it couldn't happen again. However, with her age had come wisdom, and Carly trusted Jason to say what he needed to say and return to her. Extenuating circumstances had won out over their love once, but this time, she was determined to make it happen.

When her best friend had headed for his motorcycle, a pair of bodyguards posted outside her front door looked at her knowingly. They might have worked for Sonny Corinthos, but everyone in the organization knew who truly ran things. They all respected Jason more than the man that paid them, probably because he had made the moves that ensured they still had jobs. He was the one that was on the front lines with them day in and day out, fighting just as hard to save his own life as well as the ones around him. Everyone on Sonny's payroll knew that Carly and the boys were Jason's first priority. And while he always made sure that Alexis Davis and her daughters were safe, there was a definite favoritism toward the boss' ex-wife.

Most of the guards had always liked Carly because watching over her and her sons was never boring. Whether she was concocting some crazy scheme that would put her in the line of fire or she was dodging past security to storm into Sonny's office, she had a way of keeping the team on their toes. Jason always assigned the newest guards to a week of rotations on Carly just to show them what she was like, knowing how important that it was that they understand the risks. While Max, their most trusted guard and the third in command, was always with them during that first week, the newbies understood what it would mean if they messed up. Although rarely dangerous, watching over Carly Corinthos-Jacks was a matter of life and death.

Now, it looked like things in the organization would once again be changing. In the mob world, things rarely stayed quiet or the same for very long. More often than not, it was the threat from an opposing family that shook a seemingly strong organization to its core. However, the truly deathly blows came from a shakeup from within. Watching Jason leave Carly's house at the early morning hour, the guards knew that something big was about to come down the pipeline. The security of the Corinthos family now rested on how well Sonny took the inevitable change that was about to happen. Between the bold, lingering embrace that Carly made no qualms about showing the world to the long, confident strides Jason had made upon his departure, it was certain that the two of them had finally recognized what the world had long known. Sonny could deny it all he wanted to but sides were about to be chosen. It was likely that he wouldn't like who would come out on top.

Those thoughts were not only on the minds of the guards that rainy morning, they consumed Carly as well. As she stood in front of the mirror in her lavish bathroom, fresh from a long shower, she tried to figure out how she had become the woman looking back at her. Six marriages and two children later, Carly was back in the past she had been nearly ten years ago. Completely lost and hopelessly in love with Jason Morgan, she was determined not to repeat her past mistakes. She could drag this out and wait until Jax returned from chasing his brother in parts unknown, or she could pick up the phone and end it now. Either way, her marriage was over. It should have made her sad, but her emotions betrayed her. A wide smile spread across her radiant face as she pulled the phone of its cradle and dialed a cell phone number from memory.

Half expecting to hear his voicemail, Carly tried to compose a proper message in his head. She was so wrapped up in her task that she didn't even hear when Jax actually did pick up on the other end. "Carly? Carly, are you there?" he repeated exasperatedly. After a few times, she was finally snapped back to reality. "Carly, why did you call me if you're not going to speak?"

"Sorry," she apologized sheepishly. "With the roaming fees, I'm sure that this call is going to cost you a lot." _Probably more than you know._ "We need to talk."

"I'm sorry that I've been gone so long," he retorted, trying to ignore the shift in his wife's tone. "I think I've tracked Jerry to a remote village in the Outback. It should only be a few more days before I'm back home to you. It's taken a lot longer than I thought it would. How is the hotel? How are the boys? How are you?"

Carly listened to the order of his questions. He had asked about the hotel before her children. He had asked about her children and the hotel before her. If that didn't tell her something, nothing would. "Your precious hotel is fine," she assured him. "Michael and Morgan spent the night with Sonny. He had Kristina, so they were going to have a big slumber party with Max and Milo."

"And you? How is my beautiful wife this morning? Something must be up for you to call me," he half-accused. "I know that I haven't been in contact much, but I can still read you. What have you gotten yourself into this time? Just let me know and I'm sure that I can help you clean up your mess."

A pointed huff soon filled his ear. "First of all, you're not the man I go to when I need someone to clean up my mess. To be that person, you would have to be here. Considering that you've spent a majority of our marriage chasing after your damn brother, I'd say that you hardly qualify," she spat. "Now then, I'm glad you think that you know me so well as to assume that my tone means that I'm in trouble. The thing is, you've read me all wrong. My reluctance to talk to you has nothing to do with my inferiority and everything to do with yours."

"Carly, what are you talking about?" he questioned slowly.

"I'm leaving you," she stated plainly. She didn't let a note of question creep into her voice. It only exuded confidence. "You've left me more times than you've saved me. That's not what love is, Jax. Love is showing up for someone when they need you the most. The only person you seem to love that much is your precious brother. I can't build my life around someone who could leave me on a moment's notice to chase someone halfway around the world. I need someone who is going to be there by my side, day in and day out, to fight my battles with me."

The silence on the other end of the line indicated that Jax was as surprised as she had predicted. "If that's what you need, I can come home, Carly. I had no idea that you felt that way. You should have told me. We could have figured this out together. Instead, you've gone and made a string of choices without me. Shouldn't I get a say in what happens to our marriage? You're still my wife, and I still love you."

The next words that Carly was about to speak were harsh, she knew that; however, she was afraid that they were the only ones blunt enough to make him really see how she felt. "Well, I don't love you." Giving him a few moments for them to sink in, she peered at her reflection in the mirror. A devoted wife would at least shed a few tears, but Carly was stoic and reserved. "Jax, try as you may, you're never going to be the man that I need you to be. We could both pretend for a few months or years, but it's always going to come back to him. Somewhere in your heart, you knew that our marriage had to be short-term. You had to know that eventually I'd wake up and see what was standing right there – not in front of me but by my side."

Jax thought back to his wedding day when Carly had been so late to the ceremony. When she hadn't shown up, he had feared that she had left Port Charles with Jason. He had always known that it would only take one look, one word, and she would take her boys and run back to him. In his absence, it appeared that Jason had finally found his way back to her. "When you left Sonny, you told me that you were tired of the danger. You told me how you wanted to have a life separate from the mob. I can give you that, Carly. Jason can't."

"Maybe not," she agreed, "but Jason can give me something that you never will. He can give me all of his heart. He can give me a lifetime of love. You and I – we would never have that. You once all of your heart a long time ago to a certain brunette that now resides in Paris. That's the same part of my heart that Jason has always carried around in his shirt pocket. Try as we might, there is no changing that."

"Well, I would have tried, and I guess that's more than you can say," he remarked sadly. He had moved on from Brenda and would never go back to her. Still, he could understand what she meant, and there was no way their relationship could come back from that. "I'm guess that you've already started the divorce process. I'll call Alexis after we hang up and have her draw up my papers. Just let her know what you want to do and she'll negotiate on my by behalf."

"I'd like you to buy my half of the hotel," she told him. "The only thing I want is my house. You can have everything else that we've purchased together. It was never really my passion, but it is yours. If you insist on paying me for it, you can donate the money to Courtney's foundation in the boys' name. I don't want any of the money. It's never been what this was about."

He started to ask what their marriage had been about, but he knew. It had been about loneliness and a need for someone to love. "I will have someone draw up the check and get everything pushed through as quickly as possible. I know that you don't want any of the money, but I don't feel right about just taking it from you. I will make a sizable donation to the foundation in the boys' name. What would you like me to do with the proceeds from the Metrocourt?"

Carly thought for a moment. "I'd like you to split it four ways and put it into the trusts for Michael, Morgan, Kristina and Molly. That way, all the children in our lives will benefit from something that we built. Alexis can take care of the legalities. She just went through the process with Emily's estate."

"Fine," he agreed. "I guess that there isn't really anything else to say. I'll trust you to pack up my things and send them over to the hotel. If you could just look after it until I return, I would appreciate it. I'm sure that there are some loose ends there that you need to tie up. If there should be anything else, you can get in touch with me through Alexis."

A small tear escaped from Carly's eyes as she realized that her marriage to Jax was almost done. It had been easier than she had thought that it would be. A part of her had wanted him to fight pack, to tell her that she was worth fighting for. Another part was grateful that he was letting her walk away unscathed. That part of her suspected that he knew that this day would come and that he had an escape route planned in his head. As she wiped the wetness from her cheek, she wondered if that escape included his so-called best friend, Alexis. Maybe he would finally open his eyes enough to realize what they could mean to each other.

"I know you won't believe me when I say this, but I really did want this to work. I tried to make myself believe that you would be all that I ever needed, but I couldn't. None of this is your fault," she promised. "I had to go back to him because that's where I belong. You think that I don't belong in that life, but I do. I belong smack in the middle of it, keeping it alive like a beating heart. Even if we stayed married, I'd never escape from the life I chose ten years ago. Some women are built for the PTA, but I was built for the mob."

"You were built for so much more. I'm only now just beginning to see that, and maybe that was part of the problem," he declared. "You always told me that Jason could see things in you that no one else could. I'm sorry that it took me so long to see what he has known all along."

"No apologies necessary. It's time for me to get the boys, so I have to go. Have a safe trip home, I hope you find what you are looking for," Carly said before hanging up the phone. As she turned back to the reflection that she had scrutinized earlier, she felt a definite sense of accomplishment.

Jax would never understand how she could pass up safety and security for the fear of the unknown. However, given the chance, Carly would make the same choice over and over again. She had built her life around an organization that few understood but that she knew all too much about. Her only regret would be the risk that it would put her boys at, but even that, she couldn't regret too much. Although their childhoods weren't exactly picturesque or even normal, they were filled with love and adventure. Bad things could happen to anyone, but if they happened to her sons, at least they were surrounded with guards who would die to save their lives. It wasn't ideal, but it was their lives. It was their family.


	8. Chapter 8

While Carly was telling Jax of their impending divorce, the harsh winter wind whipped around Jason as he turned onto the shaded street that led to Elizabeth's new cottage. He had thought about heading back to the penthouse first to exchange his motorcycle for the SUV but decided against it. For the first time in a long time, he didn't want to prolong the inevitable. Hungry to get the confrontation with his son's mother over, he was already longing for the warm safety of Carly's embrace. The past twelve hours had been overwhelming but held such promise. When he had left Elizabeth's yesterday, he felt as if his world had been shattered. Now, as he prepared to return, he felt like everything was finally right.

Pulling into the private driveway, Jason killed the engine and yanked off his black helmet. He wasn't at all surprised to see Elizabeth appear at the backdoor, their son on her hip. She had always reacted instinctively to the sound of his motorcycle. He could remember a time five years ago when she had looked at him the same way that she was gazing at him now. They had tried to make it work back then, but like now, something was always in the way. In those days, Elizabeth's surprising devotion to Zander had stopped anything before it ever really started. Now, it was Jason who was going to end things with Elizabeth long after they should have said goodbye.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, he switched the ringer to vibrate and motioned to one of her guards. "Do not let anyone disturb us unless it's an emergency," he instructed as he headed up the back stairway. Elizabeth had switched on the porch light, casting a pale glow into the small backyard. Pocketing his phone, he took his son gratefully from her arms while she held the door open for him. "Hey, sorry I didn't call first."

Elizabeth shook her head. "You don't have to call to see your son," she smiled. "Or me." Jason immediately understood the insinuation to her words but chose to ignore it for the moment. Cradling his son protectively to his chest, he smiled softly as the infant fell back into a peaceful slumber. Burying his nose in the downy softness of Jake's hair, Jason inhaled deeply. Of all the scents in the world, this was by far his favorite. He could remember first falling in love with it ten years ago, the very first time he ever held Michael. Back then, he couldn't have ever imagined love anyone so selflessly or deeply. Now, he was blessed to have three young boys that he would walk through fire for. He loved each of them equally as his sons.

Settling into the wooden rocking chair next to the fireplace, Jason began the task of quietly rocking his son. Elizabeth perched on the edge of the sofa, looking on with an adoring affection that only a mother could pull off. If he had been a different man, Jason would have found a way to forgive her for the sake of his son. He would have made a compromise and publicly named himself as Jake's father with Elizabeth proudly at his side. However, the man Jason was refused to live a lie any longer. Not only was he going to take his rightful place as a parent, he was going to do it with the woman he truly loved by his side. Just as Jake deserved his father, Carly deserved her soulmate.

"I think he's asleep again," Jason told Elizabeth. "Why don't I go put him in his crib and then come back down so that we can talk? There are some things that we need to discuss." The wholesome brunette nodded her permission as Jason headed for the staircase. Inside the nursery, he took an extra moment to watch over his sleeping child in the crib. Even in his sleep, there was no denying that Jake was the spitting image of the Quartermaines. Jason couldn't believe that more people hadn't figured it out before now. There were going to be so many people to tell, and his biological family was near the top of that list. Though he would do anything he could to protect Jake from the stresses that came along with the family's name, Jason knew that finding out about their newest member would mean so much to the Quartermaines. In a year that had seen the deaths of both Alan and Emily, they deserved some happiness. More than anything, he wanted to give this to Monica.

When he came back into the living room, Elizabeth was curled up on the end of the couch, her legs tucked beneath her like an adolescent girl. She had a knit blanket strewn across her pajama-clad lap and fumbled anxiously with an unraveling strand of yarn. "Hey," she greeted him softly as he sat down in the chair opposite her. "I'm sorry that Lucky interrupted us yesterday. I tried to look for you after he left, but you were already gone. I would have left here, but the boys were asleep."

Jason nodded thoughtfully, indicating that he understood. If they had this conversation last night, his response would have been filled with anger and hurt. This morning, however, he felt eerily calm. Carly had promised that they would get through this together, and knowing that was helping him go through the motions. "That's actually why I'm here," he admitted. "I heard everything that you said to Lucky. You agreed to let him keep posing as Jake's father."

Elizabeth's eyes went wide as she realized that she had been caught. She had suspected it when Jason had departed so suddenly, but she had still hoped that he didn't know. "With everything that is going on, I don't want to put Jake's life at risk. We've talked about it, and I know that you understand," she retorted. "We just lost Emily. The last thing I want to have to worry about is something happening to our son."

A flash of cold anger passed through Jason's eyes, chilling Elizabeth to the bone. She had seen him fix a similar gaze on numerous people over the years but never her. Stupidly, Elizabeth had believed that she was immune to that side of Jason. In reality, she knew that the only people who had never been on the receiving end of such a look were Emily and Carly. With that single stare, their entire relationship had just shifted. "You're done making all the decisions," he informed her icily. "I am going to take my place as Jake's father. You will have primary custody of him, but I will have very liberal visitation rights with my son. We will make all parenting decisions together."

"Come on, Jase," Liz implored desperately. "You agreed to do what was best for Jake. Your lifestyle isn't safe for children. You've said it yourself on more than one occasion. Look at what Emily's death is doing to Michael. He is just like Sonny, looking for revenge. Do you want the same thing for Jake? Lucky can love him and keep him safe. Not that many people know that you're the father. If we do this, there is no going back."

"First of all, do not presume to know what is going on with Michael. You do not know him," he said a little more harshly than he intended. "I'm tired of how judgmental you are of other people's choices. You pretend to be so saintly; I just can't believe I never saw through it until now."

"Where is this coming from?" she cried, unshed tears welling up in her eyes. "You sound just like Carly!"

Jason exhaled loudly, letting the anger seep into his breath. He watched her react visibly, certain that she understood what a fine line she was now walking. "I will do whatever I have to do to protect my son. We can increase security on you and the boys. I can have a system put into your house. The guards will sweep your cars for explosives. There are precautions that we can take. I will do anything, but the one thing I will not do anymore is lie. I won't lie to the people in my life and I won't lie to my son. I am Jake's father, not Lucky Spencer."

Wracking her brain for a compromise, Elizabeth was frantic to find any logic that would discourage his seemingly rash behavior. "Michael, Kristina and Morgan were kidnapped two years ago because of Sonny's business. Michael went into a nearly vegetative state shortly afterward. Kristina saw your ex-girlfriend shoot the son of your enemy in a warehouse. Carly was shot by Sonny while giving birth to Morgan. The people in your life are forever in harm's way. I don't want that for my son."

"First of all, A.J. was behind the kidnappings. He wanted to get to Michael, in case you forgot that," he pointed out. "As for my ex-girlfriend, I believe that your ex-husband is currently dating her. In fact, if my sources are correct, they are going to move in together. Sam has a way of getting herself into plenty of trouble all on her own, and something tells me that didn't end when we broke up. And the Carly thing was an accident and completely isolated from Sonny's business and you know that."

"Maybe," Elizabeth relented, "but the people around you and Sonny always end up getting hurt. I don't want Jake to be another casualty of your lifestyle. You walked into it willingly, you had a choice. Jake doesn't have that same luxury. You need to think about how this would affect his life and not about how it could hurt you."

"The only thing I have thought about for the past ten months has been my son!" he spat. "If I was thinking about myself, I would have stepped up as his father the day that you told me in the elevator. Instead, I agreed to lie to keep him safe. I respected your choice because you were his mother. You never even gave me the option of being the one to make the decision. Elizabeth, you act as though I've been selfish, but what about you? Our roles as parents are equal. Why should you get to make this choice?" 

Turning away from him, she trailed her fingertips through her long chestnut hair. "I don't understand where this is all coming from so suddenly," she muttered. "After last night, I really thought that we had come to an understanding and were going to find a way to make this work. You overhear a conversation with Lucky that I've had a million times, and you freak out suddenly. Why now? Why are you so set on being his father now? Do you want us to be a family?"

It took all that Jason had to stop himself from scoffing. Instead, he stood up from the chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. "The only family that we will ever be is parents to Jake. I can't be with someone who would ask me to lie about my son," he answered. "I am going to meet with Diane in the morning to have her draw up papers. They will be more than fair, and you can have Alexis look over them if you would prefer. I'd like to keep Jake on Friday night since Carly has Michael and Morgan. Mercedes, the boys' new nanny, will be there to help out just in case."

The hairs on Elizabeth's neck stood up at the mention of her nemesis' name. It became clear to her why Jason didn't want a family with her and the boys. He already had one with Carly and her sons. Now, he wanted to bring his own son into the fold. "And what does Jax have to say about this cozy little picture?" she questioned.

"Well, I'm not really sure that he gets much of a say about what I choose to do with my family," he replied honestly. "Unlike Sonny or you, he doesn't have any sort of concrete connection to Carly. However, like Sonny and you, he doesn't have any say in whom Carly chooses to be with once they officially separate."

"You're with Carly now? Just like that?"

"Oh, come on, we both know that it isn't a sudden thing," he chuckled humorlessly. "See, Carly has a way of accepting me for who I am. She knew the dangers of being with me ten years ago, and she has never once blamed me for the things that have come her way. Unlike you, she doesn't blame me for her own choices. In fact, she didn't even really blame me for lying about my son to her. I want you to realize that, Elizabeth. I did lie for you. I lied to my best friend in the entire world because I wanted Jake to be safe, or at least that's what I told myself until last night. Now, I realize that I was also lying to protect Carly. Well, the façade has fallen away and the lies are over."

Anyone who had ever known Carly or Jason knew that their bond was undeniable and their reunion was inevitable. Elizabeth had long wondered when one of them would wake up and realize that their torch for each other was still burning strong. "I don't blame you for the night that we spent together," she attempted. "We were both in pain. That wasn't our fault. Lucky and Sam had hurt us. The condom was faulty. The repercussions of that night were beyond our control and completely in the hands of fate."

"See, that's the difference between you and me. You take our will completely out of the equation and blame higher powers on the choices that we made," he shook his head. "It's not Sam or Lucky's fault that we ended up in bed together. We could have manifested the hurt in so many other ways. Maybe we couldn't have predicted a bad batch of condoms, but every other decision was ours to make. I take full responsibility for that."

"That's not what I meant," Liz argued. "I meant that our son was meant to be. Everything happened the way that it did to give us Jake. We got our second chance that night. Are you really sure that you want to walk away from that? Do you want to go and ruin everything that we have fought so hard to have?"

Jason shook his head sadly. "I'm not walking away from anything, I am walking toward everything. I am walking toward falling back in love with my best friend. I am walking toward helping her raise two boys that I have always considered to be my sons. I am walking toward finally becoming a father to my own child. I was walking toward the life that I would have chosen every single time if I could have picked anything in the world. You had your chance last night to pick me, but you didn't. She did."

"So, if I had made a different decision last night, things would have been different?"

"Maybe for awhile," he answered truthfully. "But we both know that eventually, you would have left me out of fear. And if that didn't happen, I might have left you because being with you would be wrong. We could try our entire lives to make this into a family, but it would always be a lie. No matter what, I would never be able to love you the way that you deserve. It's more than just night. Carly would still be there. She is in my life, in my heart. We would have found our way back eventually."

"I don't want her anywhere near my son."

"Like I said earlier, you aren't the only one making choices anymore," he reminded her. "Carly is going to help me raise Jake. She could never take your place as his mother, and she would never even try. However, she is the woman that I am choosing to live my life with, and there is nothing you can do to stop that. He will be a brother to Michael and Morgan just as he is to Cameron. Please, don't fight me on this. You owe me this much. You owe our son."

Elizabeth knew that she could argue with him some more. She could hire Alexis to drag his name through the dirt and prevent him from ever seeing Jake again. She could pull out all the stops, try to run away from Port Charles without ever looking back. She could go to Nikolas and have him pay someone off to forge another paternity test. However, in the end, all her attempts would fall short of Jason's power. In the end, he would always find a way to rightfully claim what was his. He would find a way to tell the truth. Standing up, she led him through the kitchen and to the back door. Holding it open so that he would leave, she looked at him like a stranger as he stepped out onto the stoop. "Have Diane call Alexis tomorrow afternoon," she instructed callously before slamming door in his face.

He stood there stunned for a few moments before a wide grin broke across his chiseled face. Clapping the unsuspecting guard on the back, he nearly jumped off the porch as he sprinted toward the motorcycle. Jason slid the key into the ignition and pulled his phone from his pocket. "I'm on my way back to you," he promised to Carly over the line. "I'm on my way home."


	9. Chapter 9

After Jason's brief promise of an impending arrival, Carly had laid down on the couch with the intention of simply resting her eyes. Somewhere between finding out that Jason had a son with Elizabeth Webber and spending last night in his arms, she had failed to realize how emotionally exhausting the past twelve hours had been. Just as she was about to drift into serious REM sleep, two rambunctious balls of fire came tumbling into the living room and woke her from her impromptu nap. Hearing the voices of her sons, she dragged her eyes open just in time for Morgan to leap onto her stomach. Michael fell onto the sofa beside her, digging his fingers into her ribs in a vain attempt to tickle his mother.

"I missed you," Carly greeted them warmly, showering kisses on Morgan's cheeks. Lifting her youngest son into the air, she looked affectionately at his innocent face. With caramel skin and hauntingly dark eyes, he was the spitting image of his father. However, his actions mimicked his mother. A true junk food addict, Morgan was impulsive and would do anything to make the people around him smile. He had already been through so much in his short life, but both of his parents knew that he was survivor. "Did you have a good time with your dad?"

Morgan nodded eagerly as he threw his arms around his mother's neck, tangling his fingers in his mother's hair. He was always playing with Carly's hair. "Daddy cooked dinner for Michael, Kristina and me. He made me eat the icky broccoli. I know that I have to eat it if I want to grow up to be strong like Uncle Jason, but it's so gross," he complained. "But after that, Max sneaked me chocolate chip cookies. We stayed up late playing video games. Michael beat Daddy every time."

"You did?" Carly asked her oldest son. With flaming red hair and a sprinkling of freckles, Carly was still glad that Michael had taken after the Spencers rather than the Quartermaines. The last thing she wanted was a constant reminder of A.J. His features mirrored her mother's, but he lacked the same kind of gentle reserve that epitomized Bobbie Spencer. Instead, he was very much his father's child – the true living embodiment of Sonny Corinthos if there ever was one. He was fiercely loyal and understood the rules of their lifestyle. Though she wasn't fond of his yearning to be a mob kingpin like his father, she was proud of the young man he had become despite the many hardships he had faced. "You must be getting good. Maybe you will be able to beat Uncle Lucas when he comes back for winter break."

Michael chuckled at his mother's suggestion as if it were the most absurd thing she had ever said. He was becoming a teenager and getting a few of the annoying adolescent tendencies that were normal for kids his age. "So, what are we doing today?" he asked, sitting up to readjust his navy blue hoodie. "Have you talked to Jax yet? I know he's gone, but I was thinking that the three of us could go to the island for spring break. Dad said that he just redid the cabana. I want to go surfing, and Max said that he'd take us out on the new boat."

It made Carly sad that Michael would plan a vacation without the stepfather she had fought so hard to give them. Although it would make the transition for the new life easier, she was disappointed that her soon to be ex-husband had fallen short of her boys' expectations. He had made many grand promises in the many months leading up to the wedding, and at every turn, he had put his brother first. Michael had come to expect that he wouldn't be there. This time, Carly vowed, her sons would know that the man in her life – in their life – would always be there. Through the good times like the school vacations and birthday parties to the bad times like sick days and fights, Jason was going to be there every day to love her children. Out of everything, even his love for her, it was the biggest gift he could ever give her.

"Why don't we go make some pancakes?" Carly suggested, leaping from the couch. Moran and Michael both looked at her questioningly as their mother wasn't exactly known for her culinary skills. "Fine, I won't cook, but Mercedes is here. She makes these really amazing apple empanadas that she wanted to teach you to make. Why don't we go in there and help her?"

Morgan ran excitedly ahead as Michael and Carly strode into the airy kitchen behind him. The new nanny was already setting up at the stove, pouring over a list to make sure that she had all the ingredients. The boys set to work helping her, methodically mixing the vanilla and sugar with the cinnamon and milk. By the time Carly was helping Morgan pour the filling into the pastry shells, the entire room was filled with the remnants of a mixing job gone awry. Michael still hadn't quite mastered the concept of turning the mixer off before pulling it from the bowl. When the bowl was empty, Mercedes left to visit with Leticia's mother. Carly and the boys sat at the counter, licking the bowls and spoons, laughing about how every cooking attempt ended in disaster.

The sounds of joyful laughter greeted Jason as he pulled his motorcycle back into Carly's driveway. He sat alone outside for a moment just to listen to what had easily become one of his favorite sounds in the world. The soft timbre of Carly's giggle, the squeaky youth of Morgan's chuckle and the cracking change of Michael's laugh flowed together into a smooth melody that could only be described as music to his ears. As he swung his legs over his motorcycle, he thought about how that song seemed to be missing something. He knew that it was missing the low boom of his own laugh and the gentle cooing of Jake's giggle. When his entire family was together again, his perfect aria would be complete.

"Hey," he called into the living room, not even stopping to look for them. He could hear Michael taunting his younger brother as he made his way into the kitchen. A thick film of white powder coated the counters as the three of them licked greedily at various kitchen utensils. He could smell the distinctly pleasing aroma of apples baking in the oven. "I'd ask what happened in here, but it looks like your mom has been cooking again."

Carly feigned a dirty look in his direction as both boys leapt from their stools to greet Jason. Dropping their spoons and rubber spatulas into the sink, all thoughts of their dessert were abandoned when he came into the room. "Jason!" Morgan squealed as he flew into Jason's open arms. Lifting him off the floor, Jason smothered him with hugs. He exchanged a "secret" handshake with Michael. They had developed it when Michael had confided that he was getting too old for hugs. The affection he showed the boys was a rare thing for Jason. Few people other than them and Emily had ever known him like this. "Mommy didn't make this mess. Michael did."

"You must take after your mom," Jason teased the redhead with a mischievous glint in his blue eyes. Looking over the boys' heads, he smiled appreciatively at the beautiful woman standing in front of him. Sometimes it still amazed him that he was lucky enough to call her his best friend. He had once thought that he'd never mean much more than a boy on the side to Carly, but as she gazed at him now, he could see how far they had come. He could retrace the journey of their lives together in those eyes. "Well, whatever the mess, it smells like it might be worth it."

"I'm not as bad as Mom," Michael informed him haughtily. "What are you doing here so early?"

"Actually, he's here to talk to you guys," Carly answered for him. Taking Morgan from Jason, she leaned over to hug him briefly. It was only a moment, but it was enough to send bolts of electricity through her veins. "Why don't you take your brother into the living room? Jason and I will bring the empanadas in just a few minutes."

Morgan started to protest when Michael pulled him out of the room with promises of his favorite cartoon. When they were finally alone, Jason drew Carly into his arms and pressed a long, fulfilling kiss to her pert lips. A low, involuntary moan escaped from the back of her throat as he pulled away, leaving her feeling completely satisfied. "I've wanted to do that since I heard you laughing from the driveway," he confessed before dropping another kiss to her temple. "Did you talk to Jax?"

Carly nodded lazily, not making any attempt to move from his arms. "I won't pretend that he was happy about it," she told him. "He didn't understand why, but it didn't surprise him either. I think apart of him always knew that I was only a temporary fix for his loneliness. In the end, neither of us could ever be what the other needed or wanted."

Jason could feel the tension in her body as she thought about how she had yet another failed marriage. "It only takes once for it to last forever," he whispered the promise into her ear.

It still surprised her how easily he could read her thoughts. "How did it go with Elizabeth?" she asked as she leaned her head against his taut chest. Jason slid his hands down the curves of her torso to rest on her hips. If they kept this up very much longer, she was going to wish that the boys were still at their father's. "What'd she have to say?"

"I can't believe that I'm about to say this, but you were right about her, Carly," he declared. "I never saw how judgmental she was until tonight. She said a lot of things that I would have never expected to hear from her."

"Like what?" Carly questioned accusingly. She immediately deduced that many of these things likely centered on her. It didn't surprise her, but she still wanted to defend herself.

"It doesn't matter because I didn't listen to her," he assured her. "The only thing that matters is that she knows everything now. She knows that you know and that I am going to be Jake's father. She knows that you and I are going to be together and that you are going to help me raise my son. We are going to raise our family together."

Carly let his promise dance in her brain as she took the empanadas from the oven. Jason filled the porcelain mugs with ice cold milk. Each of the mugs was a different color and had their names painted on it. Morgan and Michael had made them for Mother's and Father's Days this year. Even if he wasn't their father, the boys had insisted that Jason have one. He had left it at Carly's cottage knowing that her house was his home. Morgan's was bright green with a soccer ball while Michael's was dark blue with a baseball. Carly's was hot pink with rows of hearts, and Jason's was chrome with motorcycles. Carrying the food and drinks into the living room, they situated themselves around the coffee table.

"Guys, we need to talk to you," Jason announced while Carly reached for the remote to flip the television off. Morgan looked at his brother with confusion, not completely sure what was going on. "First, I have some very good news that I think will make you both pretty happy. It might be a little confusing, but you can ask me questions. I will do my best to make sure that you understand."

"What is it?" Michael asked, his voice thick with concern.

Glancing at Carly, Jason drew strength from her strong gaze. "Well, do you know Elizabeth's baby, Jake?" he asked. The boys nodded in unison. "I know that everyone thought that your cousin Lucky was the father, but it turns out that I am. Jake is my son."

"You have a son?" Morgan asked. "That doesn't make any sense. You aren't married to Elizabeth. Don't you have to be married to have a baby? Are you going to get married?"

Carly took her youngest boy's hand and smiled down at him patiently. "Sometimes people have babies when they are married and sometimes they don't," she explained. "Jason and Elizabeth are not going to get married, but Jason is going to be Jake's daddy. It's kind of like Daddy and me. Even though we're not married anymore, we still love you and Michael more than anything in the world and we love each other because of you. Jason and Elizabeth will always have that same kind of connection because of Jake."

Michael understood more than his younger brother because he knew that he was the result of a similar situation. Although his mother had been briefly married to his biological father, Michael knew that she had never loved A.J. She had been in love with Jason at the time, and even if he couldn't remember that first year of his life, both his mother and the man he secretly thought of as his first father had told him how happy they had all been together. "I think that's pretty cool that you have a son," he grinned. "You've always been really good with Morgan and me. Besides, it'll be kind of cool to get to hang out with a baby again. It'll be like I have two baby brothers."

"Yes!" Morgan exclaimed, pumping his fist. "I'm not the baby anymore!"

Both adults joined Michael in laughter. "We can even read him that book that you always read to us," Michael offered. Jason knew immediately what book he was talking about. "Our copy is getting a little bit worn, but Jake has to know all about Africa."

"Well," Carly drawled, "I think that we can definitely make that happen. If it is okay with both of you, Jason is going to move in here so that we can help him with Jake."

"What about Jax?" Michael asked as Morgan blurted out, "Won't Jax be mad?"

The question hung in the air for a moment before Jason took charge of the situation. "Your mom and Jax have decided not to live together anymore," he attempted. "I know that you guys know what a divorce means, so I won't bore you with the grownup details. Neither one of them was happy. Jax wants to stay in Australia to help his brother, and your mom wants to be here to help me."

"So, are we going to be a family?" Michael asked. "Are you and mom, like, together?"

"I love your mother," Jason conceded. "However, your mom and I would never put you and Morgan into a situation where you would be unhappy. The only way this family would work is if everyone agreed and was happy about it. What do you guys think?"

"I'd get to live with you and Jake?" Morgan asked. He thought for a moment before grinning. "That sounds like fun. It'd be almost everyone in one house."

"What about Dad?" Michael asked loyally.

"We are going to talk to your father after we are done talking to you," Carly vowed. "I wanted to make sure that you were okay with it before I talked to him. His first concern, like mine and Jason's, will be about you two. If he knows that you are okay, it will be okay for him. If you need time to think about it, we can wait to tell your dad."

Michael reached out and hugged his mom, surprising her. She had expected him to put up an argument in defense of Sonny. "As long as you are happy and Dad is okay with it, I think that Jason living here would be the best thing for all of us," he decided aloud. "We were already a family before this, but now, it's permanent."


	10. Chapter 10

For the past ten years, Jason had watched as Carly danced the same dance each time she was frightened. More than once, he had had to talk her back from the ledge when one of her plans hadn't worked out. She would convince herself that she could pull herself out of the depths of a bottomless abyss if things would just work in her favor. However, life was not usually forgiving, and Carly had unfortunately been blessed with a streak of bad luck longer than Jason's wrap sheet. Still, in the midst of the chaos, she had always managed to find her way out. The smartest thing she had ever done was choose Jason Morgan as her own personal guardian angel. Few people could trust that someone would always be there to catch them, but that very knowledge was what allowed Carly to leap so blindly. As she stood outside the wrought iron gate clutching Jason's hand, she knew that this was just another small leap in a very long fall. She had been falling in love with Jason over and over again for over a decade.

"Is there any way he will just accept this and be happy for us?" Carly asked, her voice small as she peered up at the dark mansion. She had been married to Sonny three times, but she had never managed to get used to the muted environment he had chosen. She was bright and sunny, preferring bold primary colors and airy pastels to his dark charcoals and numbing neutrals. Once upon a time, she had considered his taste elegant and sophisticated; now, she only found it boring. She liked to live life on the edge, taking risks even in interior design. Telling Sonny about her reignited relationship with Jason was definitely one of those risks.

Beside her, Jason squeezed her hand and searched for the right words to reassure her. Like Carly, he knew that it was unlikely that his boss and best friend would take the news well. Long after the divorce, he had viewed Carly as his alone as if she was a possession that could be owned or taken away. Jason had argued with Sonny more than once about how he treated Carly. Most people in Sonny's life simply accepted everything that he did, enabling him to be terribly selfish and close-minded. Only Jason and Carly dared to ever question him. Tonight, they would show the man just how far they were willing to go. This had the potential to shatter the very fragile reverie Sonny had built around himself.

"Trust me, I wish that there was a way that we didn't have to tell him because we both know that he isn't going to like what we have to tell him anymore than Elizabeth and Jax," Jason sighed. The fact was that he was going to take it worse, viewing it as a sign of betrayal between his best friend and the woman that he truly loved. Despite his relationship with Kate, everyone in Port Charles knew that Sonny still carried a torch for Carly. "But like Elizabeth and Jax, it doesn't really matter what he says. He doesn't get a say in it anymore than they do. I stepped aside once to do what was best for him. It's his turn to be selfless."

"Sonny is many things, but I don't think that selfless is one of them," Carly snorted. "The only people he has ever really been even generous with are his children. Knowing that Michael and Morgan are okay with this is really the only weapon I have in my arsenal. He's going to question your loyalty. Are you prepared for the potential fallout?"

Reaching over, he spun Carly around so that she was facing him. He could see unshed tears dwelling in her eyes as she bit her bottom lip, trying so hard not to cry. She was scared – not for herself but for him. He had to make her see what was so clear to him. "Carly, you are worth this," he promised. "Sonny has been many things to me, but he has never been what you are to me. You're my best friend, you're my insides. When I got shot last year, it was you and the boys that went through my head. I didn't think about Sonny. I thought about how I had to survive to be there for you."

_His insides – she was what was in his heart and had been for a long time._ Thinking about his words reminded Carly that she had always come first with him. Sure, he couldn't always talk to her about business or explain exactly what he was thinking, but Jason had built his life around her. "Let's get this over with," she declared aloud. "I want to go home to our boys."

With a wry smile, Jason punched the code into the keypad and waited for the private gate to swing open. Suited guards acknowledged their superior with a simple nod as Jason led Carly into the foyer of Greystone. He could hear Sonny's voice from the living room. When a reply failed to come, he guessed that he was on the telephone, likely with Kate. She had run off to New York again in some power move to exercise her independence. Like Elizabeth, she didn't belong in this world. She would never be able to withstand the dangers that surrounded Sonny.

Jason paused outside the door to listen to the conversation, but Carly pushed forward. She had always been the type to storm into a room, manners be damned. With her hand resting on her hip, she tapped her toe impatiently from the doorway while she waited for him to hang up the phone. Sonny turned to look at her, slightly angry that she had showed up without calling. A moment later, Jason appeared behind her, resting his hand on her shoulder. It was the smallest gesture, but to Sonny, it spoke volumes. "Kate, I'll have to call you back," he said into the telephone. "Something just came up."

Striding across the floor in her Italian stilettos, Carly perched on the edge of the overstuffed sofa and crossed her legs. When she thought about how many women Sonny had probably bedded on the couch that she had picked out when he had moved into the mansion, it sickened her. He could move on as many times as he wanted, but Sonny had always expected her to remain faithful to the memory of their marriage. In his twisted mind, her relationship with Jason would be viewed as infidelity.

"Would you like a drink?" Sonny asked no one in particular as he poured himself a tumbler of single-malt scotch. When he had first started taking the medication for his bipolar disorder, Jason and Emily had hidden all the alcohol in the house from him. They hadn't understood what a comforting friend the liquor was when the darkness came. It was like a bottle of scotch was his only friend. He could count on it to always be there. No one else had ever been able to live up to such high expectations. "Whatever you came to tell me must be big if you're both here. You might as well just tell me so that we can get it over."

"Can you sit down for a minute?" Jason requested as he took his seat next to Carly. He wanted to hold her hand but decided against it out of respect for his friend. Instead, he sat as closely as he could to her, pressing the side of his body against her. The curves of her torso fit perfectly against the lines of his trunk. She was the half of his whole, and they were together as one in this. "Carly and I need to talk to you about something. She knows about Jake."

Sonny was quiet for a moment as he studied his ex-wife's face. He had always known that the news would tear her apart. Maybe that was why he had supported Jason's plea to keep it a secret. He didn't want to see the envy eat away at her in a way that it never would with him. In the years that they had been together, Sonny had had nearly all of Carly. He had her body, her trust, her faithfulness and her love. He even had her children. However, there was always something unattainable about her, a part that she reserved for only Jason. He had been jealous of that unbreakable connection that no one else seemed to be able to penetrate. "How are you doing with the news?"

"I was angry at first," she admitted with a shrug. "But now, I see why Jason did what he did. I don't like that he lied to me, but he was protecting his son. I would have done the same thing for Michael or Morgan. If it meant guaranteeing their safety, I'd walk away and lie to the people that I love most. I'm not even sure I could trust myself with that secret."

"I told him that he should take his place as Jake's father," Sonny told her. "I tried to convince him that we could find a way to make this work. It's worked for us with the boys."

"Jason had to do what he felt was best for his son. Every parent has to do what is best for their children," she retorted supportively. "For Jason, that meant keeping the paternity a secret. He agreed to go along with Elizabeth's lie because he loved his son. He thought he needed to respect her place as Jake's father. Now that he has chosen to take back the life he was given, he is going to be in that little boy's life. I'm going to be in his life. Jake is going to know Michael and Morgan. They already think of him as a little brother."

Darkness flashed in Sonny's eyes as he met Jason's unwavering gaze. "You told the boys?" he asked. "They couldn't possibly understand what is going on."

"They don't have to understand," Jason replied. "They don't need to get it to love Jake. Michael and Morgan were excited to know that I have a son. They were already talking about what books they could read to him."

"I'm sure they will see Jake whenever you are around here or whatever, but it's not like they are going to be around him a lot," Sonny attempted. He didn't understand why his sons would think they'd have an active part in the little boy's life. "I'm glad that they took it well. I guess I'm just a little surprised that you told them already. The secret is barely out, and it just seems to be moving a little quickly."

"My son was born in the spring and I've known for almost a year," Jason argued. "I'd say that this has moved too slowly. Of course I would tell them. I can't imagine raising Jake without the boys in his life. Michael and Morgan mean the world to me. You know that."

Raking his fingers through his dark hair, Sonny shook his head. "That's not what I meant. I know that you love the boys," he said. "I'm glad that you told Carly and the boys. I'm sure it will be nice for you to have them around to help with Jake."

"Actually, that's the other reason we're here," Carly piped up. "I'm going to be doing more than just helping with Jake. Jason is going to move into the cottage with me. That little boy deserves a family, and I want to include him in mine. We are going to raise him together."

Shock couldn't even begin to describe how Sonny felt at that moment. He had always known that Carly would eventually find her way back to Jason. It was only a matter of time before his friend figured out that he still loved Carly. He just didn't think that this would be what would bring them back together. If anything, he had believed it would push them further apart. He had seen lies much smaller than a child rip families apart. Lying about Kristina's paternity had ended their marriage. Instead, Carly had decided that she wanted to have a life with Jason.

"How could you do this to me?"

"I'm married to Jax," she said quietly. "He's the one I betrayed, not you."

"We both know that's a lie, Carly."

"Sonny," Jason warned. "You divorced Carly years ago. You moved on with Kate."

"You are supposed to be my best friend. How could you steal my family?" 

White rage burned behind Carly's eyes. "I don't know, Sonny. Why don't you answer that question for yourself?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Jason snorted in disgust. "You took away my family first. I'm only reclaiming what is rightfully mine. I walked away from Carly and my son for you. I let you become a father to Michael. You had your chance, but you failed."

"So, that's what this is about? Revenge?"

"Only you would see it that way," Carly laughed humorlessly.

"What is it about then?"

"Love," she answered. "It's about love."

"Love?" Sonny scoffed. "Give me a break, Carly. You love a new man every year. It was Alcazar a few years ago and then Jax. Hell, you even claimed to love me more than once in there. This time it's Jason. What's next?"

"This time is different," she murmured quietly. "I'm actually in love with Jason."

"We're in love with each other," Jason confirmed. "I am going to be with Carly."

"Then, you have a very important choice to make. Carly or me?"

"How is that a choice?" Jason asked honestly.

"Sonny, stop it," Carly reprimanded. "You already know the answer. I know that you hate to lose, but you're not going to win this round."

He looked at her miserably. "I never lose."

Jason's blue eyes iced over as he stared at his boss. "You already did."


	11. Chapter 11

_She didn't deserve this. _As Jason drove along the dark streets of Port Charles with Carly quietly sitting beside him in the passenger seat, that was the only thought that was on his mind. He had lied to Carly for months, keeping the biggest secret of his life from the person that had loved him through everything without any reservation or judgment. In the course of 24 hours, she had given up her entire life for the one that she wanted them to have together. Leaving her husband and alienating Sonny had been an automatic reaction to hearing his admission once she had gotten over the initial anger and shock. She had instantly made room in her home for him and his son to live so that Jake would know Jason's family as his own.

"Thank you," he whispered into the dark. Carly didn't reply as she slid her hand across the console to grasp his calloused fingers. He could say more but no words would ever do justice to the incredible gift she had given him. Over and over again, she had given him his family. "Car, I know that I've said it a million times, but I am so sorry that I didn't tell you the truth. I wasted almost an entire year of my son's life, a time when he should have been getting to know you and the boys as well as me. I can't get that back."

"Pull over," she insisted. Jason looked at her skeptically, but she twisted the steering wheel to force him to the shoulder of the road. Pulling beneath a pale streetlight, he took a moment to enjoy her strength and beauty in the amber glow. Many men had fallen in love with Carly, but few had seen every side of her. In fact, he knew that there was a part that she reserved only for him. It was something that they had in common. "Jase, you cannot keep apologizing to me for this. It happened, it's over. The only way you can make this up to me is to be the amazing father I know you to be. Let me be in your little boy's life and trust me enough to never shut me out again."

Leaning across the seat, he wrapped his arms around her as best as he could. "I promise you that I will never lie to you again, whether I think it's to save your feelings or not. I understand now that a lie only hurts you more in the end."

Carly smiled tenderly. Even if his accident had been more than ten years ago, there were still simple things that Jason was learning. He didn't operate in the same way as most people, but she loved that about him. "Mercedes is home with the boys, so we don't have to head back to the cottage quite yet. There's somewhere I want you to take me."

He didn't even have to ask where she wanted to go. Instead, he pulled back onto the road and drove automatically to their place across town. Over the years, they had shared many special moments in their little bar – from their first night together to the pool game when he found out that he was sick. Whenever things got too rough, Carly would return to the sanctuary. She felt safe inside the rundown walls of Jake's. It was foolish to believe that nothing bad could ever happen their considering it was a bar mostly frequented by Port Charles' most questionable characters. However, on the rare occasion that Jason needed to escape his own thoughts, she knew that she could always find him behind a pool table. Her first memory of his was holding a cue stick in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other.

Jason jumped out of the car first, jogging quickly around the massive SUV to guide Carly from the passenger seat. Few people would describe him as chivalrous or soft, but that was how he had always treated Carly when they were alone. He could yell at her when she was being crazy because he knew that it was the only way to get through to her. After that, he would always hold her in his arms and reassure her that he was only trying to keep her safe. As he palmed the small of her back and led her into the smoky bar, he was showing that side to her again. "Do you remember that first dance?" he whispered into her ear as they slid into their usual table. Situated perfectly between a pool table and the bar, they had rendezvoused over and over again in those same two chairs. "I lost that game of pool on purpose. You were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, and I knew that I had to have you."

Looking at him across the table, she knew that there was simply too much distance between them. She temporarily flirted with the idea of throwing herself into his lap. The gossip mills of Port Charles were probably already churning, and her public display of affection would only throw more fuel on the fire. Instead, she extended her tanned arm across the table and took his hand. It was small but it was enough. "I had never won anything in my life, but I wanted to win that game so badly. You look at me with these startling blue eyes and my heart just about stopped."

"I knew that I was playing with fire, but I was too young or too numb to care about getting burned. I was determined to take as many risks as I could to spite my family," he remembered. "Going to work with Sonny and riding my motorcycle through the mansion was nothing compared to getting wrapped up in the likes of you. Nothing has defined my life more than the relationship that we've built."

"Well, what about a repeat performance?" she propositioned. "There's an empty table over there. I can have Coleman send over a couple bottles of beer while we play a game. If you win, I'll give you $20. If I win, I get a dance with the hottest guy I've still ever seen. What do you say?"

Neither of them even waited for a response as they resumed their usual routine at the pool table. Carly racked the balls while Jason chalked his cue. After signaling Coleman for two bottles of their favorite pale ale, he struck his stick against the white cue ball and expertly sunk two solids in the first shot. "Looks like I'm off to a good start."

"We both know that you don't want to win this game," she smiled. "Besides, like you told Sonny, you've already won. If you get to dance with me, we'll both win again."

He admired her confidence in knowing exactly what they both wanted. "Why are we even bothering with a game of pool then?" he asked, dropping on the cue to drag her to a bare spot on the floor. He barely noticed the bluesy rock song playing in the background as Carly pressed her body into his. His hands drifted down her back to rest on her hips. Hers locked behind his back to bring him as close to her as possible. "I'm happy that you're here with me."

Pulling back slightly, she bit her bottom lip in anticipation. She knew the hungry glint in his eyes well enough to know what was coming next. His hands moved back up to the back of her neck, guiding her face toward his. Running his thumb over her bottom lip, he smiled against her mouth before devouring her full lips. It was the type of kiss capable of stealing breath. Carly turned her head in just in time to deepen the kiss, involuntarily moaning in pleasure as he invaded her. "You taste the same," she muttered. "It's kind of like coffee and mint. It shouldn't taste good, but on you, it's an aphrodisiac."

They enjoyed each other for a few more minutes until the final bars of the song faded into the background. When the music stopped, Jason regretfully pulled back. Carly covered her swollen lips in astonishment, trying to remember the last time she had made out like a teenager in a public place. It had never been Jason's thing at all.

"Is it wrong that I kind of wish the boys were with Sonny again tonight?" he asked.

"I'm glad that the boys will be there when we get home. But we don't have to go home yet. I have a surprise for you," she told him. Carly outstretched her hand opened her palm to reveal a single silver key.

Jason took it and looked at it confusedly. "There's no way."

"Oh, but there is," she argued. Taking his hand, she dropped a ten dollar bill on the table and led him toward the back staircase. The first time she had climbed these stairs, there had been promises of no names and no promises. This time, they knew each other inside and out and had just pledged to have a family together. Once they reached his old room, Carly nudged him forward. Jason slid the key in the knob and waited for the familiar click of the lock. He went into the room first, leaving her in the doorway to watch behind him. Jason looked around the room, amazed at how little had changed. There were more expensive linens on the sheets, but the walls were still just as bare. The only other change was a trio of sterling silver picture frames on the nightstand. Smiling images of Michael and Morgan looked back at him in two of the photographs.

The other photo was of Carly and Jason together at her wedding to Jax. If he didn't know better, he could have mistaken it for their wedding. "How did you do this so quickly?"

"I guess that you're not the only one with a secret," she confessed. "When Sonny and I got divorced the first time, I took part of my settlement and bought this room. Coleman tried to tell me that it wasn't for sale, but like everything, it had its price. I just wanted to have this place as a haven in case my life ever got turned upside down again. I've come here a few times over the years when I needed to get away. When you would leave or I'd fight with Sonny, I would come here just to remember."

"I always thought that you might show up here if you needed to escape," she continued. "When you disappeared the first time, after I slept with Sonny, I came here praying that you would show up. I think I knew that you wouldn't, but I wanted it so desperately. After that, I never wanted to feel that disconnected from you again. I promised myself that if I ever got the chance, I would take this as our own. It belongs to us, Jase. I had to have it."

"Just when I think I know everything about you…" he trailed off. Carly came into the room, striding saucily across the wooden floor toward him. He made a move to kiss her but she turned her head at the last minute. Resting her face against his chest, she allowed him to hold her tightly. "We have Jake tomorrow."

"I don't want to stay here tonight either," she assured him, reading his mind. "The boys weren't home last night. I hate to be away from them for more than a day. I didn't bring you up here to do anything. I just wanted you to know that it was here."

Hand in hand, they locked the door to their haven with the happy knowledge that they could return any time they needed. Slipping past wandering eyes in the bar, they waited at the door just long enough for one of the guards to bring the SUV around. "That was awfully fast," Coleman called as they exited the building.

Jason started to turn around and teach him a lesson in manners when Carly grabbed his wrist. "Wouldn't you like to know?" she taunted before leaning on her tiptoes to kiss Jason sensually. With a cocky smile, she pushed the door open and pulled him through.

"Hey, where are you two going?" Coleman asked.

This time, Jason got to answer. "We're going home."


	12. Chapter 12

With the boys back home and barely understanding what was about to happen to their family once again, Carly could barely justify spending another night in Jason's arms. Once Michael and Morgan had been tucked securely into their beds, the two had drifted back downstairs to the living room. As was their usual routine, Jason flipped on the television to find an old movie on the classics channel and Carly headed for the kitchen to retrieve two beers and a bag of potato chips. By the time she came back into the living room, Jason was sprawled on the sofa. It had been a long day for both of them, one full of so many changes so quickly.

"Here, a little brain food," Carly offered as she tucked herself into the little corner of the couch not occupied by Jason's long legs. He smiled gratefully as she flipped off the cap and handed the bottle to him. "I love this movie. I haven't seen it in years, but when I was younger, Virginia used to let me stay up late to watch it. Growing up in Florida, I couldn't imagine what it would be like to live anywhere as beautiful as Rome. Now, I've been to Europe more times than I can count. I hope that I never take any of this for granted."

Sitting up to give her more room, Jason flipped off the Audrey Hepburn movie and turned to look at Carly. She smiled shyly under his watchful gaze. He loved that he could make her blush after all this time. Carly was rarely modest, but in his presence, she could become almost self-deprecating. However, even in that state, she never lost that confidence that made her who she was. Sometimes it was only a front for the fear, but he knew that she could always find a way to believe in herself as long as she knew he was on her side. The same applied for his emotional honesty. He could always tell the truth about how he felt with her because he knew that she would somehow understand. Reaching out, he tugged playfully on the end of her blonde strands. "I wish I would have known you when you were a little girl."

Closing her eyes, Carly remembered herself at seven years old. She had grown up in the trailer park, but on rare occasions, her adoptive mother had managed to scrape enough money together for a trip to the beach. The first time she could remember seeing the ocean was on that vacation when she had run in the surf until her legs literally gave out. She had laughed all day, chasing the tide in and out from the sandy shore. Until she met Jason and had Michael, she couldn't ever imagine being that happy again. "I don't think that you would have talked to me when we were little kids," she pointed out. "I wasn't exactly the type that you prep school boys hung out with. Your family wouldn't have let you get within a hundred feet of me even if our paths did happen to cross."

His hand roamed up her hair and down her cheek to cradle her face. "I would have found a way to find you, even then," he promised her. "If I could have ever imagined that someone like you existed out there, I would have found my way to you. You are too much a part of me for us not to have met."

For a man of little words, Jason certainly chose the right ones. "I love you, Jase," she confided. "I know that I say it a lot, and when I don't, I know you know how I feel. On some level, you've always known how I felt. It's just sometimes I look at you and I just have to say it. It's like I'm afraid that if I go one more second without telling you, something could happen to change the fact that you love me. I still can't believe it sometimes that you chose me. It might have taken awhile for you to realize that you chose me, but you did. You picked me out of all the women in your life the night you said you would be Michael's father. That night in the rain changed my life."

"It changed both our lives," he agreed. "Car, I never thought that you would take me on such an incredible journey, but you have shown me places and things I would have completely missed out on if we had never met. I would have accepted that Robin's view on life was the only one that existed. I wouldn't have met Courtney or Sam or Elizabeth. And as much as I hate that each of those relationships symbolize time that we were apart, I'm glad that I had them."

She understood that now was a time that he just needed to talk, to find a way to make sense of a past that so clearly defined them. "What did you learn from Robin?"

"I know that Robin was judgmental later on, but in the beginning, she really did accept me for who I was. When I woke up in that hospital room, I felt so terribly alone. I didn't know anyone, but everyone seemed to know me," he remembered. "Robin knew Jason Quartermaine, but she understood that wasn't who I was anymore. She found a way to give me the space that I needed in a time when my entire family wanted to suffocate me. I woke up to an entire life that I didn't remember."

"If it wasn't for Robin, part of me knows that you would have never found your way to Sonny," Carly acknowledged. "For that and that only, I am grateful for what Robin did for you. Maybe it's hard not to regret that choice sometimes, but if you hadn't rebelled against your old persona, you wouldn't have been in Jake's that night. I think I should point that out the next time the sainted doctor wants to lecture me. I might have finally found a way to pin it all on her."

Jason chuckled to himself, knowing full well how Robin would take Carly's new plan of attack. She was relentless in her dislike for his former flame, not that he could really blame her. Robin had put Michael's life at risk and destroyed Jason's family. "After Robin, there was you, and there wouldn't be anyone else for a very long time. I had that little thing with Elizabeth, but it was really just a tiny flicker of what was to come. I cared about her, but life was too much in the way. I guess that's what it kind of felt like when Courtney came into our lives. Between A.J. and Sonny, there were too many brothers in the way in the beginning."

"Until me," Carly giggled. "She's the only woman besides me that I ever thought was good enough for you. Maybe it's because she was Sonny's sister or maybe it was because she became the best girl friend I ever had, but I trusted her with your heart."

"Courtney taught me that it was okay to love again. We both know that I was scared to let anyone in after what happened between you and me, but I couldn't help but fall in love with her," he confessed. "I wanted to make it work. For a long time, I could really see forever with her. She just wasn't fit for this life and losing the baby was the final nail in the coffin. I still hate that she ever had to go through so much pain. Who knows how life would have turned out if she hadn't jumped in that icy water to get away from Alcazar? I know that we can't go back and change it. It happened for a reason. I just have thought about it quite a bit, especially after she died. She might still be here if things were different."

"Jase, if things were different, you might have never met her," she pointed out. "If things were different, you could have married Robin. If things were different, I could have never slept with Sonny that night, which eventually led to Morgan. If things were different, you wouldn't have hooked up with Sam or had your heart trampled on. All of these things had to happen for us to get here. These events led up to the night that you spent with Elizabeth and the son that you conceived. I hate so much that has happened, but I love that you have a son. I love Jake."

"You amaze me," he complimented, leaning forward to kiss her briefly. She pulled away slowly as he reclined back against the couch. "Speaking of Sam, our entire relationship leaves me with so many mixed feelings. I went through so much with her, the good and the bad. With her, I guess the biggest thing that I learned was that you can't make choices for someone else. I thought I was protecting her at the time, but it ended up being our downfall. When I knew that I was going to have to tell you about Jake, I was afraid that I'd made the same mistake."

Carly moved closer to him to press her body to his. His shoulder against her shoulder and his thigh against her thigh, they just needed to sit next to each other and feel one another's presence. "You and I are stronger than that," she retorted. "We're unbreakable."

"I didn't really learn anything from my little excursion to Elizabeth's life," he declared. "Well, I guess that's not entirely true. I learned that loving someone means accepting them for who they are. It doesn't mean lying to make life into a version of something that you think it should be. To be in my life, you have to do it on my terms. I know that it's not fair, but that's the way that it is. She couldn't do that, and I can't change that. The only thing I can do is be a good father to my son."

"You are the best father I have ever seen," she said. "Even if I don't have another nice thing to say about that woman, she does have good taste in fathers. Few would say that Zander would have been a good choice, but I knew the real him. He was a good man, strong and kind when he loved someone. I was lucky enough to be one of those people that he cared about. If she would have given him the chance, I know that he would have been a good father. When he couldn't be, she wisely chose my dear cousin. I will choose to ignore that brief stint where Ric thought he was going to parent Cameron, and focus on Lucky. Despite his little walk on the wild side with the pills and Maxie Jones, Lucky just might be the sanest of the Spencers. He's got a mostly even temper and a good head on his shoulders. He has been a good dad to Cam."

Though the cop and the mobster had had their differences, and would likely continue to as the situation unraveled, Jason had to admit that Lucky had been a good father to Cameron and even Jake when he had gotten sober. Everything he had done had been for the boys. "And what about me? Did she choose right with me?"

"You're the best choice anyone could ever make, Jase. I was the first one to pick you, remember?"

"How could I forget?" he murmured as he drew her into his arms again. He couldn't go very long these days without wanting to hold her. It was always like that in the beginning stages of a relationship, but they were so far removed from the beginning that this felt like an entirely different story. The Jason and Carly that were ten years ago wouldn't recognize the version of themselves now, but he preferred who they had become to who they had been. "I guess that's why I picked you. You picked me first."

"Let's just say that we picked each other. I don't want to get blamed for anything later on," she teased brightly. Jason smiled before yawning involuntarily. "You're tired. We should get some sleep. You are picking up Jake in the morning, and we have a big day ahead of us."

"And the boys are here so I should sleep down here in the spare bedroom," he realized. "It's fine, Carly, I understand. I may not like it, but I understand." He was about to say something else when the familiar tone of his cell phone chirped from across the room. It always seemed to ring at the most inopportune times. "Spinelli, what do you need?"

Carly smiled as she listened to Jason talk somewhat patiently to the adorable computer hacker. Their conversation went on for a few minutes, mostly one sided as Jason rolled his eyes at whatever Spinelli was saying. Having likely been on the opposite end of one of those conversations before, she decided to rescue the young man. She took the phone from Jason and pressed it to her ear. "Spinelli, I hate to think of you in that penthouse all by yourself when your entire family is here together. Why don't you pack an overnight bag and come stay at the cottage tonight? Jason and I will arrange a day this week to make sure that everything else comes over. You don't even have to stay in a pink bedroom anymore."

"Oh, Valkyrie!" Spinelli cried on the other end of the line. "Not that I don't appreciate Stone Cold's very generous offering of the Regrettably Pink Room, but I have missed living in a real house. The Casa de Valkyrie would be a much welcomed addition to the Jackal's life."

"It was Jason's idea," she told him. "Just get your things together and have one of the guards drive you over. The boys are asleep, but Jason and I will wait up until you get here. I have a bedroom all picked out for you downstairs. We'll see you when you get here."

Handing the phone over to Jason, she waited for him to protest over her unannounced invitation. Instead, she was surprised when he lifted her off her feet and kissed her deeply. "Thank you."

"He matters to you, so he matters to me. He's our family," she said simply when he set her back to her feet. "If he doesn't like it, we can redecorate it to his tastes. I'm already going to be busy with redoing one of the other spare rooms for Jake. I was thinking that I might redo my bedroom, too. We need to have a fresh start with things that are only yours and mine. I want it to be a little bit of you, a little bit of me."

"Kind of like our family?"

"Exactly like our family."


	13. Chapter 13

By the time Carly woke up the early the next morning, Jason had already left the cottage to return to the penthouse. She smiled at the hand written note he had left on her pillow telling her that he was going to stop by the penthouse to pick up a few things before heading over to Elizabeth's to pick up Jake. She was determined to make this day perfect as it was the first one Jason had as the recognized father of his son. The only time that he had spent with his son had been behind closed doors. In fact, most of the world still believed that Lucky was his biological father. She wasn't going to be the one to change that, though she was sure that was what Elizabeth expected. It didn't matter what the rest of the world thought; this was about Jason and his son.

"Hey, Mom, can I come it?" Michael asked from the other side of the closed door. Carly sat up and adjusted the strap of her tank top before calling back her permission. Michael, now closer to being a young man than a little boy, padded across the floor and flopped onto his mother's bed. She reached up automatically to smooth his flame red hair. "I thought I would come see what I could do to help you get the house ready. I know that Jake is coming today, so there's probably a lot to do."

Smiling at her oldest son, she was proud of the person he was growing to be. So much of who he was now she attributed to Jason. He had been there all throughout that first year and every single day since. "I think that sounds like a great idea. We need to run over to Wyndham's to pick up a few things to make sure we can take care of Jake when he stays with us. Max is going to bring down some of Morgan's baby things from the attic, so we have a crib."

Leaning across his mother, Michael pulled a notepad off the nightstand and handed her a pen. "We need to make a list. Otherwise, we'll get to the store, and you'll go crazy," he informed her knowingly. He had witnessed his mother's shopping talents many times first hand, and it never seemed to fail that she walked away with more than she needed in the first place. Now that she had the opportunity to spoil another baby, he ventured that their trip would turn into a multi-hour affair if they didn't have a game plan. "Spinelli and Morgan are downstairs making breakfast. I thought he'd be as bad as you, but he's actually pretty good."

"It's probably all those hours hanging out at Kelly's," Carly muttered as she crawled out of the bed. Following Michael downstairs, she expected to find her kitchen disheveled. Instead, she found her youngest son sitting on the counter, patiently stirring a bowl of banana pancake batter. Beside him, Spinelli was routinely pouring the batter on the skillet while they sang along together to the classic rock song on the radio. "What is going on here?"

"Good morning, Valkyrie!" Spinelli called as he flipped a hotcake. "The Stone Cold Namesake and I were just making breakfast for my new family. Since Stone Cold ran by to pick up some of our things, I wanted to do something to thank you for your hospitality."

"See, Mommy!" Morgan chirped, pointing excitedly to the platter of steaming pancakes. Carly nodded gingerly as she poured herself a cup of coffee. Michael wandered over to help his youngest brother set the table. "When is Jason going to be here? I want to see the baby."

"He should be here in a few hours," she answered patiently. "I was going to see if you wanted to stay here with Spinelli while your brother and I go pick up a few things for Jake. If you're good, I'll bring back one of Grandpa's apple pies from Kelly's that you love so much. Is that okay with you, Spinelli?"

Morgan clapped happily, excited about hanging out with Spinelli just as much as the promise of dessert. Spinelli slapped the boy's palm in a sign of brotherly camaraderie, easily falling into his new role as the oldest brother. When Lulu and Jason had chased him to Tennessee, he had no idea how his life would turn out. He hadn't expected to find a best friend in the Blonde One or a mentor in Stone Cold. Now, thanks to both of them, he had a bonafide life and family. He had people that actually cared if he lived or died. The Valkyrie had welcomed him into her home with little question. She had simply said if Jason belonged here, so did he. "That would be lovely. The Jackal and the Stone Cold Namesake will help get things ready here in anticipation of Baby Jake's arrival."

"Uh, yeah, thanks," Carly deadpanned. It was going to take just a little more time to get used to his erratic and strange pattern of conversation. "If you need any help, Mercedes will be here most of the morning before she takes the afternoon off. There should be a few guards outside as well, but I guess you know that. Anything you need while I'm out? Jason already made me a grocery list of the necessities – frozen pizza, BBQ chips and orange soda."

"Wow, you're going to get along with my mom just fine," Michael grinned. "You guys like the same foods except she likes sour cream and cheddar chips."

Spinelli laughed as Carly playfully swatted her son's shoulder. "No, I'm sure any other sustenance you offer will be very much delicious. If you need anyone to help cook, you can just let me know. My granny taught me how to cook all the basics and always said that as long as you can read a cookbook, you can make anything."

"I think we're going to like having you here," Carly retorted before heading back upstairs to get ready for the day. She had so much to do in such a little time, and the day was already slipping away from her. As she drifted toward her bathroom to shower, she basked in the sounds of laughter coming up the stairs. She might be outnumbered by the number of males now inhabiting her home, but she wouldn't have it any other way. With Jason at her side to love her, she knew that her life was finally falling into place. She had always dreamt of a home filled with children, and now that dream was coming true. Michael, Morgan, Jake and even Spinelli were her family.

Across town, Jason was looking around the penthouse, trying to remember everything that Spinelli had rattled off when he had asked if there was anything he needed. A few of the guards were going to stay behind to pack up the rest of their belongings. The penthouse had been good to him over the years, but it wasn't his home anymore. His home was with his family, and his family was at the cottage. He had spent twenty minutes alone in the pink bedroom, trying to find a computer game that Spinelli had asked for. Eventually, he managed to find it under a pile of dirty sweatshirts. Throwing it in a satchel with a few other belongings, he tossed it to the bottom of the stairs before going to his own bedroom.

Jason grabbed a suitcase from the top shelf of his closet and began throwing jeans and solid t-shirts inside. Glancing at the clock at the bedside, he decided to check in with Elizabeth while he finished packing. "Hey, I just wanted to make sure that we were still on for this morning," he said as he emptied the contents of his top drawer into the suitcase. "I'll be by in about an hour to pick him up. If there is anything we need to talk about, we can do it then."

"That's fine," Elizabeth replied shortly. "Lucky is going to pick Cameron up in about a half-hour. I will tell him everything then. If I need more time, I'll call to let you know."

"Okay," he agreed. He knew that he should say something to reassure her or apologize for any pain he had caused. However, he couldn't help but hear Carly's voice in his head, constantly reminding him that this wasn't his fault. Elizabeth had done this to herself. The only person he needed to apologize to was his son, and eight months into his son's life, he had a lot of time to make up for. "Well, I'll see you," he promised before hanging up the phone.

After a few more minutes, he was satisfied with what he had packed. He had always believed in traveling light, and knowing Carly, she would buy him more than he needed. She had always loved buying him shirts, preferring soft blue button-ups that brought out his eyes. It had become their ritual each time he went to court, and over the course of ten times, they had gotten to practice it many times. He also knew that she loved him in his faded jeans and tees because it was the only time he ever felt truly like himself. She had once said that he was sexiest in jeans, a black tee shirt and bare feet, though she did like him in the leather coat on the back of a motorcycle.

"Take these things to the car," Jason ordered as he pointed to the luggage now sitting in the living room. Two guards carried the bags out of the apartment and headed for the elevators, leaving him alone to say goodbye. The only furniture coming to the cottage with him was the pool table, the perfect addition to the empty game room in the basement. There weren't many things that held sentimental value for him, but he loved that pool table. It was the first big thing he bought for himself when he moved into the penthouse. It reminded him of those first nights in Jake's. Scanning the room, he felt like he was forgetting something important. However, when anything failed to catch his eye, he shrugged it off and headed for the front door. Just as he was about to lock the apartment behind him, he passed the hall closet.

Throwing the door open, he couldn't believe that he almost forgot. Reaching up, he retrieved the shoebox that held all his most important memories. In the beginning, it had only contained a few photographs of Michael right after he was born. Now, it was brimming with images of the people that he loved. There were photographs of Carly with the boys at the park, Spinelli and Lulu hanging out in the living room, Elizabeth and Jake in front of their new fireplace and Emily on her college graduation. These were the people that he loved, the people that defined him. When he reached the bottom of the box, he allowed himself to look at the one photograph that he didn't remember. There was Jason Quartermaine, reindeer sweater and all on his last Christmas. Flanked by a beaming Monica and proud Alan, it was the picture of perfection that so many people had told him about. Emily and A.J. were there too. It was the only "family" picture he allowed himself to have because it somehow justified the love he felt for those people, even A.J.

Putting the box back on the lid, he finally felt ready to take charge of his life. This time, he wanted everything to be different. He needed to make amends with a mother who loved him more than life but hated him for the choices that he had made and the repercussions they had. He needed to salvage a relationship with a demanding grandfather because there time was becoming more limited than either of them would have ever liked. He needed to take care of the young man who had came into his life and reminded him how much he wanted to be a father again. He needed to make each day special for the first son that he had ever been blessed with and make sure that the second born knew just how special he was. He needed to be the best father he could be to his youngest child and finally be the man he needs him to be. And he needed to love his best friend in every way possible because she deserved to have everything in the world.


	14. Chapter 14

Jason couldn't remember a time he had been more relieved to escape from Elizabeth Webber-Spencer than he had been after picking up Jake for his first visit. She had been angry at best and clingy at work, making demands and asking questions. He had tried to be patient if only for the sake of his son, but somewhere between her putting down Carly's parenting skills and pleading for them to spend the day as a family, his usually calm manner had worn thin. The conversation had ended with an even, matter-of-fact declaration that he was taking his son to spend the day with Jason's family and that he would return him by six that evening. Elizabeth had reluctantly agreed.

Now, as he pulled into the bustling driveway at Carly's cottage, he knew that his best friend and current love interest had something in the works. Her crazy plans came only when she was afraid or nervous, and officially meeting Jake as his son for the first time likely left her feeling both. "What in the world?" he muttered to himself as Max ambled by with a large carton. He was followed closely by Spinelli and Milo, each carrying similar packages. Climbing out of the dark SUV, Jason couldn't help but shake his head. By the time he had unfastened Jake from the car seat, the three men had made two more trips. It was clear that she had been shopping, and by the row of Wyndham's sacks that now lined her front porch, she had found what she was looking for.

"Thank goodness you're back," Max declared as he stopped to catch his breath. Peaking over the edge of the car seat, he smiled at the baby in Jason's arms. With piercing blue eyes and an all-knowing smile, he couldn't believe that more people had figured out Jake's true paternity before now. He was the spitting image of his father if there ever was one. "Mrs. C bought out the entire baby department at Wyndham's. I think you have approximately three of everything. She's inside worried that she forgot something. Two of the guys are putting up the crib."

"Great," Jason mumbled with a wry grin. "She's going to be mad that I showed up before everything was ready."

Spinelli and Milo had stopped to join the conversation. "The Valkyrie just wants everything to be perfect for Baby Jake's arrival," Spinelli pointed out. "The Stone Cold Namesake and I were left behind while she took the First Born shopping with her. They were gone for hours."

Jason decoded Spinelli's words and figured out that he had stayed with Morgan while Carly had dragged Michael shopping. He would have to thank Michael later as there were probably at least a dozen other ways he would have rather spent his Saturday morning. "Thanks for watching Morgan," Jason retorted. He was about to say something to Milo when a pair of boys came darting through the front door and across the yard. Morgan came crashing into Max's legs, hiding behind his thick thighs to peer at Jake. Michael was more forward, gazing down at the baby with a brotherly adoration. "I guess we should probably get him inside, huh? It's pretty cold out here."

"Mom isn't quite finished," Michael warned as he led the crowd toward the house. They all heard the crash upstairs followed by Carly's booming voice making demands on Jason's guards. Sonny's men always joked that Carly detail was the worst punishment there was because she always found little chores for them to do. Jason doubted that too many of them thought they would be putting up cribs or folding sleeper sets when they joined the organization, but whatever Carly said went. The only one who never complained was Max and that was only because he had a crush on her. "Do you want me to go up and get her?"

Shaking his head, Jason headed for the staircase, following the sound of Carly's voice. "You guys stay down here. I'll take Jake up to see her and then we'll come back down together," he promised before disappearing into the upstairs hall. A frazzled guard was leaning against a wall outside of the vacant bedroom Carly had deemed the nursery. Jason's waved his hand dismissively, hoping that he could catch a few minutes alone with Carly before the inevitable circus kicked in again. When he came into the room, she was bent over a freshly painted crib, carefully putting a fitted sheet over the mattress. "Hi, Honey, we're home."

"Jase!" she cried, her face falling as she turned around. "I wanted everything to be perfect and ready by the time you got here. It took a long time at the store and then the crib was buried. Nothing has gone like I planned."

Jason didn't say anything as he walked over to her, cradling his sleeping son to his chest. Stopping to stand by her, he gazed down at Jake. "It doesn't matter," he assured her in a soft whisper. "Look at him, Carly. This is my son. I'm here with you. Our boys are downstairs with Spinelli. Jake is asleep in my arms. This is about as perfect as it gets."

"Our boys," she repeated with a smile, reaching down to brush her thumb over the smooth skin of Jake's cheek. She wrapped her arm around Jason's back and leaned her head on his shoulder. They stared down at the sleeping infant together, basking in the true perfection of the moment.

Their temporary solitude was interrupted when Michael tiptoed into the room. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to see what was taking so long and make sure that Mom didn't kill you."

Carly and Jason chuckled in unison as Carly held her arms open to her son. "Come here, Mr. Man," she said. Michael crept across the room quietly, careful not to wake Jake. His mother slipped her arms around him from behind. "Can you believe that you used to be that little?"

"Not really," he admitted. He watched the gentle rise and fall of the baby's chest, astonished at the mere sight of new life. Jake wasn't a newborn, but it was like they were all seeing this for the first time. "Was I this quiet?"

"Rarely," Jason remembered with a laugh. "You couldn't stand to be away from your mom or me. You didn't even like Leticia that first year."

"I guess I just knew who loved me," Michael decided. Squeezing her son tightly, Carly exchanged a meaningful look with Jason. He smiled at her warmly, love shining back at her from his ocean blue eyes. "I think Jake knows that, too."

"What does Jake know?" Morgan bubbled as he came into the room, sitting on top of Spinelli's shoulders.

The computer hacker smiled his signature crooked grin, slightly embarrassed that he had interrupted a family moment. "Sorry, it looks like I walked in on the middle of one of those family things," he apologized. He knelt down to let Morgan off his shoulders and started to head out of the room.

"Spinelli, wait," Carly implored. "These family moments include you, too."

He covered his mouth with his hand, taken aback by the kind generosity of the Valkyrie. He opened his mouth to say something but for one of the first times in his life, the words failed to come. Instead, he took Stone Cold Namesake's hand and guided him over to his new family. They stood in a circle with Jake in the middle, all admiring the little unit that held them together. Though, he supposed, they were all that glue in their own way. There was Stone Cold, the strong protector and the generous soul that had given each of them their first chances at a good life. There was the Valkyrie with her open heart and fierce loyalty for the people she had chosen to be in her family. There was the First Born, the bright soul who had really gotten the whole thing started without ever knowing it. There was the Stone Cold Namesake with his wide-eyed innocence. There was even the Jackal, the one who shouldn't fit in but somehow did. They each had their role and played it perfectly.

They must have stood like that for more than ten minutes before Morgan began to fidget, Michael got bored and Spinelli became thirsty. One by one, the boys drifted out of the room in search of other activities, talking animatedly about how they would spend their lazy Saturday afternoon. Alone with Carly again, Jason said nothing. He only brushed a kiss over her forehead as he handed over his son. Watching her rock Jake, singing softly as she danced around the nursery, was one sight that he knew he would never forget. It was cemented in his brain right beside their first dance together, the first time she held Michael and standing beside her at Morgan's baptism. "What do you want to do today?" he finally asked.

"Just this," she answered, looking up from Jake's beautiful face for only a moment. She might not be that little boy's mother, but she would gladly give her life for him. That was all she needed to know to love him unconditionally. "You did good, Jase."

"Having Spinelli and the boys in here with us reminds me that _we_ did good," he retorted as he came back to hold her and Jake together in his arms. "You know, I would never take Jake away from Elizabeth, but it's going to hurt like hell when I have to take him back tonight."

"I know," she commiserated, thinking about how hard it was each time she had to leave the boys with Sonny. Even if he was a good father and she understood how much her sons needed their father, it never got any easier saying goodbye to them. She wanted to be with them all the time. Besides being Jason's best friend, being a mother to Michael and Morgan was really the only place Carly had ever fit in her life. "But you know what? He's your son now. We'll get to see him all the time. Saying goodbye to him now isn't going to be like it was before when you had to deny who you were to him."

The rest of the day was spent laughing together over the little moments that help define a family. Jason loved being surrounded by Carly, Spinelli and the boys – having so much noise in the house that it filled each room to the rafters. He couldn't imagine ever going back to an empty, quiet penthouse and it had only been a few days. He had fallen into the role easily and willingly, just as Carly had walked into this life. And when it came time for them to say goodbye to Jake so that Jason could take him home, each of them had done it with a brave smile on their face. Like Carly said, it was never easy watching one of their own go, but now Jake was their family. He would be back, and they would be right there waiting with open arms.

When he got home from Elizabeth's house, Jason and Carly tucked the boys into bed with promises of chocolate chip waffles from Kelly's in the morning. Jason had read Morgan a story while Michael had read to Carly. They had switched after a few minutes, each enjoying the time alone with the boys. Afterwards, Carly had watched Jason and Spinelli play video games together until the young man excused himself to call Lulu. Carly and Jason sat in front of the fire, holding each other with only the sounds of their breath filling the air. After awhile, they drifted upstairs to their bedroom and crawled beneath the blankets to let sleep consume them.

The night that Jason showed up at Carly's cottage, not even he could have predicted how everything would turn out. Now that their relationship and their life had changed once again, he knew that they would never go backwards. They would only move forward, together as one. What she doesn't know doesn't amount to much anymore because he has finally given her all of him. Today had been a good day for the new Morgan family. It was the first day in a long life that would be filled with family and friends, surprise and joy, life and love. It was their first day of perfect.

**Fin.**

_Author's Note: As always, thank you for reading the lovely Jarly tale that I have so lovingly spun over the course of these pages. I would especially like to extend my thanks to Sara for continuing to push and inspire me with her own words._


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